Shurt Feelings: Volume XVI

February 17, 2014

Image via Complex Original

"Shurt Feelings" is an ongoing series in which we make fun of the dumbest T-shirts of the week.

Skip Class is a writer living in Seattle. See more of his work here and follow him on Twitter here.

shurtlead

shurt11

Brandon needs to just not with this whole being one big tattoo sleeve. In his mind he thinks he's Kendrick Lamar collobo'd with Christian Bale, but he really just looks like when a semi-tough ferret that probably tries to crip walk after it's had too many whiskey and cokes.

shurt21

Not sure what the draw is from taking a screen shot of 'Lost In Translation' and printing it on a long sleeve poly body. I mean if you want to skip "Looking Like A Screensaver" college and go straight to the pros I guess this is the shortest route.

shurt31

I gotta hand it to streetwear with this one. I honesty didn't think they could pump out another monochromatic American flag tee, but here it is before us. They will milk this thing longer than the "Fast and Furious'" franchise does the Paul Walker death.

shurt41

Well, I mean that's a rather broad stroke to paint with. Sure, yeah, I guess you could say that sentiment is true. Not sure why you gotta have the ill "your little brother just walked into your room and ruined your youtube freestyle over the 'SH!T" remix" face on though. Also "isn't" is not spelled with a $ in it. Quit acting $tupid.

shurt51

Facts only?

Okay.

Facts: You are doing the most in periwinkle heather

Facts: They won''t let you into heaven with that hat

Facts: Your whole aura is Diet Peach Snapple

Facts: You accost females on Instagram with #followback4follow comments

Facts: Your twitter bio has the word "bookings" in it

Facts: You own numerous mid-tier colognes

Facts: You've handed a person a CD-R demo before

shurt61

Science hasn't invented the drug that goes with this "Hashtag Goth Lizard" steeze this dude is on, but 2014 is still very young my friends.

shurt71

This ensemble is made for a very specific demographic. It's for that kid that the teacher calls out for disrupting her class and has to go up to the board and he turns back towards the class and makes that annoying ass smile/smirk face. This is the official uniform for that kid. That kid always grows up and eventually joins the Marines, but then gets discharged and immediately gets a facial piercing that makes his guy friends secretly uncomfortable.

shurt81

There is a direct conflict of interest here. On one hand this dude is entirely positive he doesn't fuck with body hair of any type, but on the other hand he "hella" likes cheetah fur. If you're trying to read his tattoos they say "Fear Not" and the equally enigmatic "Never Follow". Both of which are confusing because he clearly is following how to dress like Diet Tyga On His Tour Bus to the T.

shurt9

It's one thing to be afraid of printing swear words on t shirts, it's some whole other shit to be scared to use vowels, dawgie. I also get the sense that Antoine here enjoys killing our vibe by wearing his little sister's neck cut on this tee. That neck cut is so soft if you scratch and sniff it you can probably smell cotton candy and unicorn tears.