Image via Complex Original
"Shurt Feelings" is an ongoing series in which we make fun of the dumbest T-shirts of the week.
Skip Class is a writer living in Seattle. See more of his work here and follow him on Twitter here.
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1
"Naked inspo Tumblr chicks smoking cig" shirts don't even need to exist in real ass life to be sold on the Internet. This is 2013, dawgie! We can get away with a .jpeg on top of confused looking asian dude like it's nothin'. Juheard!
2
If putting pattern fabric on a pocket constitutes you calling yourself a "fashion designer," then adding pattern to the sleeves must make you a used Jeremy Scott condom.
3
Nothing says "goon shit" like a silk screened concrete pattern type tee. I'd hate to run into this dude during an afternoon sunset on Fairfax. Asking to bum an American Spirit got me wild shook.
4
Sure, this shirt is scary bad, but not nearly as frightening as how they were able to use computers to generate a real life composite of what would happen if DJ Khaled lost 93 pounds. Too lifelike, guys. Way too lifelike.
5
Well at least I have the satisfaction of personally being able to blame Pusha T for this existing. Thanks for taking my 5th grade science shoebox diorama background and turning it into a sublimation printed turd. I can hear the robotic monotone voice of Stephen Hawking's talking keyboard going "Yuuuuuuuccckkkk" as soon as he pops this on.
6
Way to go, Chaz. I'm totally convinced that your American Eagle lookin' ass quiff really throws the Feds off the scent of your secret trap operation. What social occasion are you even wearing this T-shit to? Because I bet dollars to donuts your Aunt Denise is gonna be pissed as hell when you show up to your cousins little league trophy ceremony wearing this nonsense. BTW, when you sell drugs the currency is NEVER cripsy looking stacks of money. Like, as in never plus infinity.
7
This is just the worst. This looks like how Nicki Minaj's thong must smell after a show. This looks like a cut sew version of clown rape. It's a waste of my energy to even come up with more similes for how bad this shirt is. Stop doing whatever the fuck this is.
9
Is this, like, a Jeopardy! shirt? Like, you give away clues about the things you were too afraid to actually print on a tee? I mean, if that's the case I'm not even mad. That's pretty meta, especially coming from you idiots.
10
Jesus H. Christ doing jumping jacks in January. WHY? Congrats! You took the same name of two different sports teams and mushed them together to represent both coasts. Now all you need is to find a large demographic of 18-25 year old males that have have lived in both the Bay Area AND NYC that like sports AND T-shirts that make you want to slam your head into a car door. Good fucking luck.
