Did you ever look so fly...
...you didn't mind going to a party where you knew only the guy who invited you?
And everyone at that party Snapchatted you without a caption?
So it wouldn't cover what you were wearing?
...you checked yourself out in parked car windows as you walked by?
Like, all the parked car windows?
...Tinder put an "undo" button in development for accidental left swipes?
...your Uber driver titled his rearview to backseat level for the whole trip?
Then when he dropped you off at Supreme, the salespeople actually wanted to help you?
...you couldn't be paid to eat something with mustard?
...people double-tapped the 'gram before they even read the caption?
...Tommy Ton followed you back?
...you knew you'd have a new default picture by the end of the day?
...they used your picture as the lead image for the whole street style slideshow?
...your shoes needed a separate TSA tray?
Because they'd never seen anything like them?
And you can't be too careful?
...no one made fun of you for posting a mirror selfie?
And people responded to it with IRL praying hands emoji the next time they saw you?
Yeah, me neither.
Rick Morrison is a writer living in North Carolina. Follow him on Twitter here.
