Image via Complex Original
The great Coco Chanel once advised that "before you leave the house, remove one accessory." What Coco didn't know was that it was cold as shit outside and she probably would've added an accessory if she had to take the train instead of a Rolls. Plus, let's be honest; accessories are dope. They add a little flavor to your style and they can be functional in the same vein. But are your accessories a telltale sign of you and your character?
Being stylish is hard, man. We know it. So your winter weather accoutrements can make or break your style while simultaneously being the difference between warm and cozy or cold and shriveled. No one wants to be freezing cold and have your dick seek shelter by burrowing up into your own body. Still though, you're definitely sending signals with the things you rock to ward off the low temps. In case you weren't sure, here's What Your Favorite Winter Accessory Says About You.
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Visible Wool Socks
Boy, do you love the great outdoors. You would live in the mountains surviving off berries and tree bark if you could. You are one with the wilderness, but, like, the city has so much cool shit that you would be hardpressed to just up and leave it. While it's hard to straight walk up to people and be all "I snowboarded in the Himalayas last weekend and it was radical, dude," your visible wool socks is the equivalent of rubbing pine needles and shit-covered leaves into their face.
Shoe Covers
Your preference for valet parking is the deciding factor in what restaurant you take your new girlfriend. Your shoe collection is worth more than your apartment, and rent is only slightly more than the money you spend on shoe protection. You think you're a baller, but do real ballers cry when they see a freak storm rolling through?
Balaclavas
You've actually said to people, "Fashion, look it up." Your parents miss the old you.
Wool Fedoras
You are an old soul who likes to listen to "A Kind of Blue" on the weekends in your loft with your dog. Your demure manneurisms are trumped by your menswear addiction, especially your wool fedora that you keep low because, you know: mysterious.
Fringed Scarves
You are a peacock and you make sure every motherfucker sees your brilliant feathers. When you rock your fringed scarf, it probably isn't the only bold winter accessory you're wearing, but it is most likely the most exuberant.
Winterized Backpacks
You are a beautiful soul whose existence makes the world a better place, and no one likes you for this. You are incredibly sensible, and a winterized backpack allows your yoga mat to maintain an ideal temperature without getting too cold. Again, no one likes you.
Snow Umbrellas
You grew up slightly privileged, which is fine, but you don't see things in the same light as others. Your orange juice must be fresh squeezed. The vacation spots your parents dragged you to were unpronouncable. You don't try to go around announcing your swoll pockets to everyone, but you are and they hate you. Whatever, serfs.
Fingerless Gloves
You're a chronic masturbator. Your fingerless gloves let everyone know you can't live without having your fingertips accessible for your iPhone, which you constantly use to access various social media sites...or mobile porn. You should try and concentrate on keeping your fingertips warm, seek sex addiction counseling and tell all your friends you've "got some real life shit to figure out."
Askew Beanies
Your ears are cold as shit and you're perfectly fine with that because you're cool. The fact that you can roll your beanie up when it's 20 degrees out because, "fuck it, right?" totally embodies your effortless style, which took 45 minutes in the mirror to perfect.
Cigarettes
You don't simply smoke, you conspicuously suck these cancer sticks as hard as you can in the most visible areas so that everyone can see what a badass you are. You pray you don't cough. You hope mechanical voice boxes are trending in 10 years when your larynx is destroyed. You die 25 years later of lung cancer.
