Dress Your Kid Up Like An Adorable Fashion Icon This Halloween So They'll Officially Hate You Forever!

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Complex Original

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Oh Happy Day just came through and absolutely ethered the little kid Halloween costume game. Although, I’ll admit, I’m always conflicted when I see costumes that were clearly the parent’s idea. I mean, it’s a little much on the projection front, no? No fucking way your dumb kid wants to be a tiny, adorable version of a Karl Lagerfeld trust me. (Sidenote: A Karl Lagerfeld costume should also incorporate lasers because I’m pretty sure that dude shoots lasers out of his eyes. At least lightning bolts from his hands like Raiden). They'll never let you know it—actually, they probably will, loudly—but your kids don’t ever want you making their costume. And you shouldn’t blame them. Would YOU want to wear something on the biggest candy and mayhem night of the entire fucking year that your mommy made? Like, the one time a year she decides to bust out the sewing machine to relearn how to finish a stitch is on your annual night of unsupervised door-to-door begging. Every kid wants a fucking pre-packaged Iron Man costume with the light up eyes that you can get at K-Mart. That's fact. But I guess if you’re going to go ahead and take advantage of the fact that your kid is either a little dumb and doesn’t know any better or is just not in a position to really fight back, you might as well pick relatively obscure fashion icons to dress them us as. It’s bad enough your kid is rocking a shitty homemade costume, but every fucking door the schmuck knocks on will be met with, “And what are you supposed to be?” And that poor bastard will have to say, “Bill Cunningham,” or “Iris Arpfel” instead of “DUH, I’M A NINJA-DINOSAUR-ASTRONAUT, MOTHERFUCKER. WHERE’S MY PEANUT BUTTER CUP AT, BITCH?”

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