What Your Favorite Mall Store Says About You

People be shoppin'.

August 13, 2013

Image via Complex Original

The mall is known for many things, great food courts, giving a spot for bored teenagers to hang out, and perhaps most importantly, providing a setting for Yung Joc's "It's Going Down." Beyond the Orange Julius stands and Auntie Anne's Pretzel carts, there are actually some decent brands you can find at the mall. Despite criticism against the gigantic monuments to consumerism, there's a certain allure and convenience to the modern shopping mall—parking situations be damned.

Of course, seasoned mall shoppers don't stop into every store during each visit. Rather, they develop routines based around the stores they shop the most. Chances are, if you patronize a certain shop often, you probably share certain characteristics with the majority of its clientele. We took a stab at trying to classify these types of shoppers—albeit a non-serious one. Read on to find out What Your Favorite Mall Store Says About You.

JCPenney

Nick Wooster sent you here, cheap oxfords got you to stay.

Club Monaco

Your favorite sites include Four Pins and Die, Workwear! But you can't actually afford anything they blog about.

Zumiez

You just discovered streetwear a month ago.

Lids

Fitted? Snapback? Nahhhh. You're good with Flexfit.

Macy's

Your favorite brand is Ralph Lauren Denim & Supply... only because you still weep for Rugby's demise.

H&M

Your house is full of Ikea furniture or you spent the rest of your money on expensive sneakers.

Finish Line

You will never pay retail for kicks and are really good at finding coupons.

Sears

You will only buy Land's End Canvas in person.

Urban Outfitters

You have enough money to worry about questions like "what should I wear to brunch?"

Banana Republic

You have a boring day job that requires a "work wardrobe."

Express

You really miss Structure but won't admit that bootcut jeans and "going out shirts" stopped being cool decades ago.

Abercrombie & Fitch

You are super white (or wish you were) and have occasional trouble checking your privilege.

Forever 21

Your girl dragged you in here once and now you can't get enough of jeans and shirts made out of recycled cardboard and broken dreams.

Journeys

You swear that Chucks and/or Vans are the only sneakers you will ever wear. You might be a white guy with dreadlocks.

Gap

You don't care where your jeans come from as long as they're selvedge and affordable.

Zara

You are a size extra-smedium and the only clothes that feel right are super tight on your body. You may have a faux hawk and/or a goatee.

American Eagle

You don't mind looking like an extra in Glee.

Hollister

You are the coolest surfer in the Midwest.

Foot Locker

You have no problem wearing Jordan Brand sneakers that aren't retros, and think dressing like a referee is dope.

Spencer's

You are either 12 or have never seen an actual pair of boobs in your life. You wouldn't know how to react if a beautiful woman said anything to you. You probably spend most of your nights trolling obscure Internet forums.

Pacific Sunwear

You are only here because you heard they sell Been Trill now.

J. Crew

You have more chambray shirts in your closet than anyone else you know. You saved up for a pair of Alden shoes you wore a ton until you got back into sneakers two weeks later.