Image via Complex Original
When you're a kid, not all of your sartorial choices were your own, and that's okay. We can't all have super steezy parents who want to infuse their children with as much swag as possible. That's why, as we grow older, we start to gravitate towards clothing, grooming, and accessories that help us define who we are, and show it to the rest of the world.
Unfortunately, it seems some people never quite grow out of old habits. You can't wear the same things you did at 25 that you did when you were 5. Likewise, what might look good on a 10-year-old probably won't on you. Age gracefully and learn to dress like a grownup. These are 10 Style Choices Only Kids Can Pull Off.
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Clip-On Ties
The only reason you should ever wear one of these is because your mom or dad put it on you and you were too young to protest. Once you learn how to tie a tie, there is no going back. Ever.
Long Sleeves Under Short Sleeves
According to Details, this trend originated with SoCal surfers who layered looser tees over form-fitting thermal or neoprene gear when they weren't riding the waves. Still, it's a look most grown men won't be taken seriously in. For parents who constantly worry about whether or not their kid will be cold, it's been appropriated as a way to sneak in an extra layer while letting your child run around in that Sesame Street graphic tee he refuses to take off.
Sneakers With Lights or Wheels
Are you a precocious toddler? Do you want to look like you never left the '90s rave scene? Are you that afraid of the dark? Is walking "not fun" enough for you? If your answer to any of those questions is "yes," then you might have a reason to shoes with extra gear attached to them. That doesn't make them any less tacky.
Bowties With Anything
Bowties are off limits for anyone between the ages of 5 and 85. When you're a child, slapping a bowtie on your kit is like your parents telling the world "here's our gift to society, our well dressed little kid!" When you're a grown-up, bowties become less versatile. If you try to wear one with a short-sleeved button down, super casually, or to any sort of formal interview, you usually end up looking like a douchebag. By 85 you're basically a child, so they are acceptable once again.
Onesies
As soon as you're old enough to stop shitting yourself, you should stop wearing these.
Anything That Could Be a Costumes
There's nothing wrong with nostalgia. Your comic book and TV-inspired graphic tees, fitteds, and sneakers are fine, but we have gotta draw the line at things that are practically costumes. There's nothing wrong with an Autobot logo on your tee or a hoodie with a Ninja Turtle printed on it, but once you start rocking things that make you look like Grimlock or The Shredder, it's pretty ridiculous.
Denim Overalls
Oh my Osh Kosh B'Gosh, if you're over six, you shouldn't be rocking these. There aren't even that many construction workers still dedicated to this look. It's just not masculine in the least bit, despite what designers like Junya Watanabe try to tell you. Sure, their technical fabric counterparts might have some pragmatic applications for fishing, but they definitely don't belong in any grown man's wardrobe.
Oversized Fitteds
Kids in oversized caps are adorable. You're like "awww, you can't even see his eyes under that Cincinatti logo!" When you're older, they're supposed to you know, fit. Don't take your style cues from Papoose.
Velcro Sneakers
Can you tie your shoes? Good. Wear sneakers with laces then. While slip-ons get a pass for the sake of variety and the fact that loafers and Vans are actually dope, velcro is hardly timeless or practical. Think about it. You're saving what—two seconds? Most people tie their shoes pretty quickly, or keep their kicks laced loose enough that they slip on or off with ease anyway.
Spiky Hair
Even manly men like Mickey Rourke can't pull off Bart Simpson's trademark 'do. Especially with that blonde accent, it makes him look like an extra from The Fifth Element. Your haircut should look presentable and make a statement that doesn't say "I spend a lot of my income on gel."
