10 Style Choices Only Kids Can Pull Off

Image via Complex Original

The only reason you should ever wear one of these is because your mom or dad put it on you and you were too young to protest. Once you learn how to tie a tie, there is no going back. Ever.

According to Details, this trend originated with SoCal surfers who layered looser tees over form-fitting thermal or neoprene gear when they weren't riding the waves. Still, it's a look most grown men won't be taken seriously in. For parents who constantly worry about whether or not their kid will be cold, it's been appropriated as a way to sneak in an extra layer while letting your child run around in that Sesame Street graphic tee he refuses to take off.

Are you a precocious toddler? Do you want to look like you never left the '90s rave scene? Are you that afraid of the dark? Is walking "not fun" enough for you? If your answer to any of those questions is "yes," then you might have a reason to shoes with extra gear attached to them. That doesn't make them any less tacky.

Bowties are off limits for anyone between the ages of 5 and 85. When you're a child, slapping a bowtie on your kit is like your parents telling the world "here's our gift to society, our well dressed little kid!" When you're a grown-up, bowties become less versatile. If you try to wear one with a short-sleeved button down, super casually, or to any sort of formal interview, you usually end up looking like a douchebag. By 85 you're basically a child, so they are acceptable once again.

As soon as you're old enough to stop shitting yourself, you should stop wearing these.

There's nothing wrong with nostalgia. Your comic book and TV-inspired graphic tees, fitteds, and sneakers are fine, but we have gotta draw the line at things that are practically costumes. There's nothing wrong with an Autobot logo on your tee or a hoodie with a Ninja Turtle printed on it, but once you start rocking things that make you look like Grimlock or The Shredder, it's pretty ridiculous.

Oh my Osh Kosh B'Gosh, if you're over six, you shouldn't be rocking these. There aren't even that many construction workers still dedicated to this look. It's just not masculine in the least bit, despite what designers like Junya Watanabe try to tell you. Sure, their technical fabric counterparts might have some pragmatic applications for fishing, but they definitely don't belong in any grown man's wardrobe.

Kids in oversized caps are adorable. You're like "awww, you can't even see his eyes under that Cincinatti logo!" When you're older, they're supposed to you know, fit. Don't take your style cues from Papoose.

Can you tie your shoes? Good. Wear sneakers with laces then. While slip-ons get a pass for the sake of variety and the fact that loafers and Vans are actually dope, velcro is hardly timeless or practical. Think about it. You're saving what—two seconds? Most people tie their shoes pretty quickly, or keep their kicks laced loose enough that they slip on or off with ease anyway.

Even manly men like Mickey Rourke can't pull off Bart Simpson's trademark 'do. Especially with that blonde accent, it makes him look like an extra from The Fifth Element. Your haircut should look presentable and make a statement that doesn't say "I spend a lot of my income on gel."