The 10 Worst Dudes You Meet On Tinder

This time last year, I remember mercilessly making fun of a guy friend who told me he was taking a girl out who he met through a dating app on his iPhone. "No way," I said. "She cannot possibly be cool." Even just a short time ago, there was still a serious stigma attached to any type of online dating, serious or otherwise. It was only something you did if you were wildly desperate. Or a complete shut in. He—a perceivably normal, attractive dude—was neither. "No, look" I remember him telling me, "it's like Hot or Not. You just swipe right if you like a person and left if you don't. If they like you back, you can message each other." Then he showed me a photo of the girl, who was one year his junior and, admittedly, totally smoking.

Fast forward to today and I've definitely come to embrace the dark side. My girlfriends and I have done more than our fair share of Tinderizing, picking up more than our fair share of Tinderonis. I've been on a few dates and a few not-quite-dates, met some passable guys and some extremely lame ones, and had a seriously entertaining time in the process. While it's full of promising prospects, Tinder is also absolutely rife with douchebaggery. For every normal, there are umpteen boners, making the same, tragic comedy of errors. With that being said, let me conveniently break down the ten worst dudes that exist on Tinder, so you, kind sir, don't become one of them and maybe, just maybe, get yourself some.

Jess Graves is a writer living in Atlanta. You can read her blog here and follow her on Twitter here.

Shirtless Dude

I know you're logging hard time in the gym, but let me find out about your rad six pack down the line. Seeing you flex sans top in a mirror selfie, is not, in fact, a turn on. Leading with your body, no matter how good, makes it seem like that's all you have to offer.

Way Too Young Dude

re you seriously 18 and on Tinder? Go play Xbox or finish your science project. And, no, I won't buy you beer.

Where's Waldo Dude

Hey bro, I know you love your bros, but if I can't figure out which bro you are in a group of 5 bros, I'm swiping left, bro.

Not Actually Single Dude

Cool wedding ring. Is that your girlfriend? Next!

Not As Hot Dude

Man, why are you setting yourself up for failure and me up for disappointment? Do not lead with a photo of you and your dead-ringer-for-Liam-Hemsworth pal or may the odds be never in your favor.

Dude I Know IRL

When this guy pops up, it’s like the high school hallways all over again: I just keep it moving. The plus side? If I just caught my buddy who's secretly Tindering on the DL? Great "gotcha" moment.

Drunk Dude

If every photo you've posted was taken at a bar or music festival, the only message you're sending is what a great drinking buddy you'd be. Party on Wayne, but I'd like to go on a date that doesn't involve a kegerator from SkyMall.

Terrible Opener Dude

Telling me it's cold out and asking if you can use my thighs as earmuffs is probably going to get you screencapped and sent to a bunch of my friends for a laugh. Right after I block you.

Long Distance Dude

How is it that I have my location settings on less than 10 miles away and it's only after you start messaging me that I realize you're on another coast? Quit Tindering at the airport.

Stupid Bio Dude

Writing something like "What rhymes with hug me?" in your "About Me" is the e-dating equivalent of an Affliction shirt.