The abject idiocy of Satanic Panic, I am disappointed to report, is once again rearing its head during a moment that should be filled with nothing but full-bodied celebration.

Though you surely don't need anyone to break the news to you at this point, Playboi Carti's long-teased Whole Lotta Red now has a release date: Dec. 25. That date, notably, didn't possess any meaning prior to Carti's unveiling:

Naturally, Carti complemented the WLR cover and release date announcement with a collection of new merch, the bulk of which includes (among other things) the glorious sight of inverted crosses, always a surefire way to ensure one lives rent-free in many Christians' heads.

carti
Image via Playboi Carti
carti
Image via Playboi Carti

An inverted Latin cross, it's worth noting here, is oft-forgotten by anger-prone Christians as being regarded by many throughout history as a symbol referencing Peter the Apostle. However, an inverted cross in general can have a multitude of purposes depending on who's wearing it. For example, while it wouldn't be totally out of place to see someone affiliated with the Church of Satan wearing one, the group itself does not claim the inverted cross as a symbol of Satanism.

Furthermore, and I really can't stress this enough, a "Satanist"—be it one connected with the Church of Satan, the Satanic Temple, or a similar group—is one whose beliefs are actually rooted in atheism. Put another way, a bunch of Christians losing their shit and expressing fear about, say, Carti or anyone else supposedly "worshiping satan" or "being a satanist" makes zero sense because it shows a deep-rooted misunderstanding of what a satanist even is.

Here's more, from the Satanic Temple:

The Satanic Temple believes that religion can, and should, be divorced from superstition. As such, we do not promote a belief in a personal Satan. To embrace the name Satan is to embrace rational inquiry removed from supernaturalism and archaic tradition-based superstitions. Satanists should actively work to hone critical thinking and exercise reasonable agnosticism in all things. Our beliefs must be malleable to the best current scientific understandings of the material world — never the reverse.

None of these facts, however, ever stop anyone from jumping several sharks. See examples of that below. For good measure, we've also thrown in a heavy helping of some lighthearted jokes about the WLR merch, as well as some (like me!) who are fucking stoked:

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