I'm pretty fucking sick of turning on the TV I wrestled off a pre-pubescent girl on Black Friday only to see these swagless nerds in their flag pin-adorned polyester suits talking about tangible increases in education and welfare spending. I don't care about any of that shit. I just care about your trash fucking fits. Don't your colossal, ill-managed governmental budgets have room on the payroll for a presidential stylist? Don't you siphon off enough public money to cop a prime ministerial pair of J's? SMFH. But, like, what if?

Moksha August is a serial Four Pins commenter turned writer. I guess you could say that he started from the bottom. Haha, that's the spot. You can follow him on Twitter here.