Yo, you guys read books? My girlfriend is always reading books. I tell her the reason I'm always watching literally fucking anything on television is because I read and write for a living. But c'mon, "reading and writing for a living" is an incredible stretch. I just don't like making my brain work more than it has to, ya dig? If you are the type of person to tell all your friends at brunch about the new novel you're reading, you better have some fancy fucking bookmarks holding your place in that new Junot Diaz.