I remember way back in 10th grade, I wore a thermal shirt with some really wavy Gap jeans and Adidas Sambas and went to this dance and there was this girl there in an incredibly tight tank top and incredibly baggy jeans with, like, white Ecko sneakers. I couldn't really see her shoes that well because it was a dance and dark and she had on an incredibly tight tank top. Anyways, homegirl was feeling my alphet, you guys. Or maybe I was just super charming and handsome. But I'm pretty sure it was the dope thermal paired with the middle part in my hair and thick glasses that did the trick. We danced aka I rubbed my junk on her butt through our respective baggy jeans and backed away just when I was about to get a boner so as to be respectful. We danced like that the whole night. Then the DJ played "Sabotage" by the Beastie Boys and that song is not conducive to any sort of dancing with women. The lights came on and everyone booed, so they dropped the lights and played one more song. It was a request. It was this song. I swear to god. That DJ never worked at our school ever again, but I hope he knows he made the hearts of, like, 120 kids sing like angels with that drop. So, yeah, buy yourself this ca$hmere/cotton blend thermal and maybe you too can grind with a girl in a really tight tank top and baggy jeans to a song entitled "Ass-N-Titties."
