The Craziest Fashion Designer Quotes Of All Time

Hi, hello, it’s me, here to make your Friday hilarious and uncomfortable. For those of you who don’t pal around with fashion designers, holy shit, they have no fucking filter. Ninety percent of what they say could get them laid, ruin a marriage or bring a tear to a fat little kid's eye. If a Twumblergram existed called “Overheard at Fashion Week” it’d be something the Pope would pray about. Here, now, is just some of what the Internet has to offer on the subject. Shit's straight craze. Amen.

Lead image via Purple Fashion Magazine

Rick Morrison is a writer living in North Carolina. Follow him on Twitter here.

"Every jacket I make has interior pockets big enough to store a book and a sandwich and a passport." - Rick Owens

Ah, yes. The daily carry of globe-trotting man children.

"Well, if you’re trying to slip out without waking a sleeping man, zips are a nightmare. Haven’t you ever tried to creep out of the room unnoticed the following morning? I’ve done that many times." - Diane Von Furstenberg on designing her iconic wrap dress

I know, right? Catch-deucey-deuce: If I meet a girl at the bar bedecked in zips, the only way I’d go home with her is if I was too drunk to operate a zipper. ‘Cause I’m petty.

"I love hats, in a way, but when I was a child, I'd wear Tyrolean hats, and my mother–I was something like eight–said to me, 'You shouldn't wear hats. You look like an old dick.' Do you say such things to children? She was quite funny, no?"

"Chanel is an institution, and you have to treat an institution like a whore—and then you get something out of her."

"I'm rather pro-prostitution, I admire people who do it. It can't be much fun. Thank goodness for it. People need relief or they become murderers."

"The iPod is genius. I have 300."

"Sweatpants are a sign of defeat. You lost control of your life so you bought some sweatpants."

"It would have been difficult to have an ugly daughter."

"My sisters were sent away because my mother thought they were boring. I was not boring."

"The brain is a muscle, and I’m a kind of body-builder."

"A respectable appearance is sufficient to make people more interested in your soul."

"I’m very much down to earth, just not this earth." - Karl Lagerfeld

That last one pretty much sums up everything out of his mouth ever.

"It was a long time ago, we were in the office, and we had finished work exhausted. A friend of a friend said 'Hey, take this it will give you energy,’ so I thought I'd try it. I didn't know what it was. It made me laugh and laugh, like crazy...to the point that my back hurt' *he holds his hips* 'like I'd just had a baby." - Giorgio Armani on taking LSD

This is why we don’t post your shit here, homie.

"Natural? What is natural? What is that? I do not believe in totally natural for women. For me, natural has something to do with vegetables…I don't even know what my natural [hair] color is." - Donatella Versace

You and Edgar Winter both.

"When I get into bed at night, I hope I don't get into it alone!" - Calvin Klein

I've got a call out to his publicist asking if he was a freshman in college when he said this. Will update.

"Dude, I'm not an old fart who wears his jeans up at his shoulders…In every school there are the cool and popular kids, and then there are the not-so-cool kids. Candidly, we go after the cool kids. We go after the attractive all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends. A lot of people don't belong [in our clothes], and they can't belong." - Mike Jefferies, CEO of Abercombie and, to greater extent, not cool in high school

The door guy sends you packing if enough people didn’t sign your yearbook.

"She needs to have a few drinks and cry a little—then she'll be perfect." - Tom Ford on a Gucci model

Shhh, everyone. Papa's preaching.

"I ride my bike, I work out, I do a bit of, er, dancey things." - Stella McCartney

Vine montage or it didn’t happen.

"'50s cheesecake meets Eskimo fake fur." - Issac Mizrahi on his new collection

A++ mental image. WIA (would imagine again).

"The sand dunes look like two tits." - Valentino responds to stage set hours for before a runway show

In his defense, they did.

Bonus:

"I'm an ice queen, I’m the Sun King, I’m an alien fleeing from District 9 and I’m a dominatrix. So I reckon that makes me a lukewarm royalty with a whip from outer space." - Anna Wintour

Anna is less of a designer than she is the Editor-in-chief at Vogue and, to a greater extent, someone who reuses needles.