Even when Carmelo tries to get on the right track—maybe get an alright shirt, maybe get a jacket that almost fits, ice out for the ESPYs—he loses. I know, it’s probably hard to have your button stance on lock when your torso is, like, 5' tall, but dude can easily afford a credible tailor or, at least, a weed carrier to tell him how to button his jacket, right?

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