Hey, remember when Rachel told us about a bunch of shit not to buy girls? Well, I would heed that advice. With that being said, I don’t remember her ever mentioning a rain poncho. You’re probably thinking, “Rain poncho? C’mon man, I might as well just get her a fucking umbrella or vacuum cleaner.” WAIT A SECOND AND THINK THIS SHIT THROUGH FIRST. Did she just recently get a new bicycle? Is it one of those beach cruiser style ones? No? It’s a sleek steel frame track bike? Cool. I’s a fucking single speed bike isn’t it? Remember when having as many gears as possible was the telltale sign of a cool bike? Not anymore. Struggling up 10 degree inclines is cool. Anyways, if she has a bike, she’s at least probably made an effort to ride it to the famers market or café or have some adventure on it, right? Peruse her Instagram feed—girls can’t resist taking photos of their legs and their bike. Remember when she bought it and you didn’t buy one because that’s why you have a car. You're not tryna show up sweaty as fuck just to show off my slick bike. So listen, she’s inevitably gonna get caught in the rain. And because she’s not a fucking loser, she’ll ride home in the rain. But unless she’s, like, a bike ninja, holding an umbrella and steering a bike in the rain is kind of tough. Of her Macbook Pro with 75 gigs of inspiration boards, mood boards, thought boards, Sex and the City episodes and that one really weird porn every girls says she got through “a virus or something” gets ruined, she’s gonna be bummed. You’re gonna be arguing with some Apple "genius" about water damage and whether it’s covered by warranty or not. Instead of weathering all that bullshit buy her this Postalco rain cape. First of all, she’ll feel like the girl in the Monocle editorials. Second, it’s practical, but in that Kate Spade-y, Muji kind of way girls like. Also, it could be worn by a dude, which helps justify the $480 you just spent on a fucking cape. Third, and finally, buy it because you care about her and you don’t want her to catch a cold in the rain. Make sure to tell her that last part.
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