10 Reasons to Root for the Miami Heat in the NBA Finals

I know. It hurts to even type, let alone consider. Root FOR the Heat? Have

you lost your f*cking mind? (Possibly, but that’s beside the point.) From

the execrable “The Decision” to the flashy welcoming celebration to pundits predicting an easy 70-win season,

no team in NBA history has been easier to hate than the 2011 Miami Heat. (OK,

except for maybe the ’86 Celtics.) That said, here’s 10 reasons you should
be rooting for them to dismantle Dallas.

When LeBron James announced he was teaming up with Dwyane Wade,

everyone bemoaned the end of an era: when superstars stayed with the

teams that drafted them and won titles (Michael Jordan) or didn’t (Patrick

Ewing) on their own. Meanwhile, it’s the Mavs who’ve been spending like
mad, treating the salary cap like a 55-miles-per-hour speed limit sign. The

end may indeed be nigh—but not because of the Heat.

Yes, this sounds like a reason to root AGAINST the Heat. After all, LeBron

without a ring is insufferable enough — with one, he’ll be the, um, Michael

Jordan of insufferability. That said, there’s one thing worse than LeBron

James with a ring, and that’s Mark Cuban with a ring. Go Heat.

If there’s anyone in this whole matchup who deserves a ring, it’s aging

Heat center (and future James Bond villain) Zydrunas Ilgauskas. An

All-Star in Cleveland before LeBron ever arrived, he suffered through

Waltonesque foot problems before becoming a durable and dependable

option. Win one for the, uh, Zipper.

Yeah, fine, Dallas can do celebrations — after all, they’ve seen plenty of

Super Bowl champs. But when it comes to mass drunkenness, celebrity arrests

and TMZ-worthy disasterpieces, no one does it quite like Miami. In fact, the

afterparties would probably draw better ratings (and more Kardashians) than the Finals themselves.

Why is is that we always have to see the bad guy lose? Redemption and revenge are wonderful storylines and all, but sometimes

you just want the alleged good guys to go down instead. What would be more fun—Dirk Nowitzki celebrating his first title, or Dirk Nowitzki heading back out to
the outback with only his guitar, a tent, and Holger Geschwinder, to grow a

beard and ponder yet another soul-crushing loss? Maybe it’s just us.

If LeBron truly is ever going to challenge Michael Jordan for the title

of “Greatest Ever,” he needs to start winning titles, like, yesterday. Sure

he’s still only 26, but he’s logged nearly 30,000 NBA minutes played

already and has been fortunate to remain nearly injury-free. He might need

to win titles every year from now until he retires to catch Mike. Let's make things interesting.

Few All-Stars in their prime have endured the ridicule that Chris Bosh has.

The “soft!” whisperers were out during his time in Toronto, but it all came

to a crescendo when he signed on with the Heat as a max-money third

wheel. Beating the Bulls as arguably the Heat’s best player was nice—but slipping a championship ring onto his middle finger and flipping off the

haters would be the best vindication of all.

One would imagine that Erik Spoelstra has built up some impressive job

security by now. Fans who were screaming for his head when the Heat

came out of the box slowly back in November now giddily listen to his

clichéd coachspeak on TNT and ESPN as visions of championships dance

through their heads. But with Pat Riley still holding the strings, he’d better

close this thing out with four more wins—or update his résumé.

Dallas—besides their insane payroll—represents the old way of doing

things. Acquire a star as a draft pick (good going, Milwaukee), and try

different combinations of unproven youngsters and discarded vets until

something clicks. The Heat are the new way—get your superstars ready-made, use the regular season to gel, then wreck shop in the playoffs. If the

Heat win, expect more of the same. Who doesn’t like player movement?

Aside from fans of the New Orleans Hornets and the Orlando
Magic.

The Heat pretty much already celebrated their first championship back in

the summer when they introduced LeBron and Bosh (and re-introduced

Dwyane Wade—some of their fans don’t pay that close attention) to an

adoring public. There was smoke, there was pomp, there was posturing

that even Muhammad Ali would have shaken his head at. So what will they

do to top that? What the hell, let’s find out.