Image via Complex Original
Take a long, hard look at the orange beast you see above this text. Look at the four axles. Look at the surface area on those eight 21-inch wheels with massive tires. Look at the 3.9 tons of pure power. It's called the Avtoros Wamah Shaman, and it's an amphibious beast of an SUV. We spotted it at the Moscow International Auto Salon, and instantly began dreaming of the ridiculous adventures we could get into. Though we haven't decided whether or not we're going to drop the $165,000 needed to buy it, here are 10 awesomely fun ideas we came up with.
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10. Drive Over a House
This would be awesome. We love Monster Truck-type driving, so the chance to practice it in the real world would be amazing. Would it piss off the neighbors? Hell yes. Would we care? Not the slightest bit.
9. Host a Mobile Strip Club
We're envisioning something like The Booty Lounge that was caught at the Lions game. Toss a pole in the back, fit a couple coolers, some big screen TVs, and we're good to go. We'll charge $500 admission, just because there will be extremely limited seating.
8. Race Another Wamah Through a Volcano
Yes! Only really bold vehicles can handle the rigors of volcano racing. The Avtoros Wamah has the right power and the right set of cojones to pull it off. We'd like to extend our driving bragging rights to the extreme.
7. Explore the Titanic Underwater
You read the part about the Wamah being amphibious, right? We're tired of just watching footage of the Titanic on the Discovery Channel, so we're actually going to get down to the sea floor and check out some history in person. After that, maybe we can search for Mega Shark and Giant Octopus and challenge them to duals.
6. Drive Through a Cornfield Chasing Aliens
Driving through cornfields is a staple of scary movies. The only thing is, it's impossible to be afraid of anything when you're driving the Wamah. It'll be nice to have the third kind running for their lives instead of the other way around.
5. Re-enact I am Legend and Zombieland
If there's one thing we learned from I Am Legend and Zombieland, it's that Ford Explorers and Hummer H2s ain't gonna cut it against Zombies. The living dead are relentless, so you're going to need a pretty-well armored vehicle that can withstand creepy bum-rushing corpses while stopping to look for HoHos and picking up attractive women.
4. Use Two Wamahs For Jousting
This one doesn't really have anything to do with the Wamah's incredibly beastly frame. We've just always wanted to joust in a car. And if you accidentally swerve a little to the left or right, you have a head-on collision in this thing. Which would be kind of interesting to see what happened.
3. Drive Into the Depths of a Massive Cave
When you've got an Avtoros Wamah you want to take the utility aspect to new heights. Why not charge into a massive cave? Why not go where lessers SUVs cannot? Why not risk life and limb for the sake of adventure?
2. Rescue Snow Leopards and Polar Bears
Don't forget that polar bears and snow leopards are on the endangered species list. When it's 2065 and Coca-Cola isn't be able to use that giant white fluffball as a mascot, because they have all disappeared, you're going to be sorry. The Wamah has plenty of space and the towing capability to transform into a winter animal ambulance/hospitality SUV.
1. Find the Loch Ness Monster and Bigfoot
It's time to finally end all the speculation. The Wamah is big enought o bring all the high-tech accessories we need, along with a full camera crew. We'll be able to plow through any forest, climb any snow- and ice-clad mountain, blast through any loch, and rough it through every possible hiding place these beasts could go. Don't worry, we'll bring our GoPros.
