Life Lessons From Mario Balotelli as Told Through GIFs

After a 2-2 draw with Fiorentina, opposing goalkeeper Emiliano Viviano attempted calm Balotelli down after he suffered racist abuse from Fiorentina fans. He's had racist chants hurled at him from Fiorentina fans as far back as 2008. There was nothing Viviano—a native of Florence—could do to try and reconcile with Balotelli.

See how expertly Balotelli dealt with that problem? He needed help getting his warm-up top on, and after a few futile attempts, he realized that, “Hey, I may be Mario Balotelli, but this pinny has the best of me. Let me find help, analyze the issue, and corroborate.” Well done, Mario. Asking for a lil help instead of becoming frustrated and stressed strengthens lines of communication and leads to efficiently solved problems. Take notes, kids.

This is a lesson that every ambitious, hard-working adult learns at one point or another. Chasing dreams by busting your ass is admirable, but pacing yourself is key. Make the world come to you instead of drowning yourself in debt, deadlines, and obligations. Life is hard as f*ck as it is, and making shit more difficult for yourself by taking on too much is a fast track to the tipping point of total loss. Basically, don't do what Mario did here. He sucked down too much energy drink at once and choked on his own ambitious gulp. Thank goodness he spit it out in time and lived on. Take that lesson of survival to heart.

There's a reason why Balotelli didn't miss his first 26 professional penalties and to this day, has only missed two in his entire career: His mental and technical preparation begins on the training ground, where he's sure to never miss too. Balotelli's technical prowess has always been a strength of his, but he's cited his mental fortitude as the chief reason for his success from 12 yards out: “It’s just like a mind game between me and the goalkeeper. Me, I know how to control my mind. When the keeper moves before me, it means that in his mind game he has lost.”

Balotelli was just taking what he felt was rightfully his. He had won the penalty kick, and as someone who had never missed a competitive penalty attempt in their career at that point, he felt that it was well within his right to take the damn thing. Yet Balotelli wasn't Inter Milan's No. 1 penalty taker—that distinction fell to African legend Samuel Eto'o. After a brief standoff over the ball, Inter captain Javier Zanetti took Balotelli by the hand and forcibly moved him. Balotelli didn't fight back though, and chose to respect the sage-like guidance of Zanetti.

And as Drake said, “My actions been louder than my words.” Think about that line, watch this GIF over and over, and then map out your entire live in the Notes app of your iPhone. Go Forrest.

After Italy beat Germany to reach the Euro 2012 Final, Balotelli sought out his adoptive Italian mother to pour out some love. Family is everything.

If you're a complete boss at life and have supreme confidence in yourself to do anything you set your mind to, then your critics can sit on their thumbs. Constructive criticism is always welcome—closed-mindedness and walling off advice from mentors is stupid and self-destructive—but letting h8rs get you down is not. If your awesomeness is under fire, be sure to stunt in a way that concurrently crushes the unwelcome critics. Remember these words of OVO wisdom: “Coming at me never worked no matter who tried.”

With only moments left in the 2012-2013 English Premier League season, Manchester City needed to find a winner against QPR to take home the title. Balotelli received the ball at the edge of the box, but a well-timed challenge disrupted his touch and balance. Instead of trying to regain his balance and find a path to goal, Balotelli bailed on the play and dropped a pass into star striker Sergio Aguero's path. He scored the winning goal, and Balotelli took home a Premier League winner's medal.

Bonus points for the “wow” factor here.