Image via Complex Original
It's incredible how athletes can make such great decisions in the time it takes to get a snapshot without even thinking about it. It's programmed in their brains: cut right, stutter left, fake, drive. So why is it that they have a hard time making similarly good calls off the court/field/pitch/track, even when afforded time they could never dream of while playing. Athletes get ticketed for stupid crimes, fall for money-hungry jersey chasers, and make horrendous investments. One of the worst investments: custom cars. There are plenty of gems out there, but it seams more often than not, the personalized whips come out so gaudy that only its original owner could appreciate it. We take a look at some of the worst examples with 20 Athlete Custom Car Fails.
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Chad Johnson
Car: Semi
Chad Johnson, then Ochocinco, treated himself with a $100,000 customized semi. It must have been the only vehicle powerful enough to pull his baggage.
Anthony Carter
Car: Hummer H2
It's better that you can't see it in this photo, but Anthony Carter also put Lamborghini doors on his abomination of a Hummer. Though ruining an H2 is a lot like covering a pig in shit.
Felix Hernandez
Car: Range Rover HSE
Miami's MC Customs built this cherry red to help Felix Hernandez celebrate his Cy Young award. It already screams for attention from afar, but look closer and you'll see "King Felix" on each rim.
Personal sidebar question: We definitely think you deserve all the money Seattle gave you, and we know you've been there forever, but don't you want to win?
Marcus Banks
Car: Bentley Continental GT Convertible
The baby blue 22-inch Forgiato Fiore rims are the tipping point here. Otherwise, the hue is flawless.
Jermaine Pennant
Car: Aston Martin DBS
When you play for Stoke City, you have to do everything you can to get your name out there. That's the only reasonable excuse for this chrome job.
Dennis Rodman
Car: Lamborghini Gallardo
It could have been worse. Rodman could have given his Gallardo the same treatment as his hair. Actually, now that we think about it, we're a little dissapointed he didn't do that.
BONUS: This is Dennis' most recent disastrous creation:
Metta World Peace
Car: Hyundai Genesis
George Lopez promised the artist formerly known as Ron Artest a Rolls-Royce Phantom when he arrived to L.A. Being a man of the people, World Peace said all he needed is a Hyundai. But really, nobody needs this ridiculous Hyundai Lakersmobile.
Chad Johnson
Car: Hummer H2
Alright, seriously. Chad Johnson, Marcus Banks, Dwyane Wade, and Alfonso Soriano need to sit in a room together and think about what they've done.
Kevin Durant
Car: Chevrolet Camaro SS
Larry the Lobster (what up, Spongebob fans?) thinks this is too red. We'll give KD a pass because it's hard to criticize him about anything. At least he and Victor Martinez can be friends.
Antonio Garay
Car: smart car
They say it takes a real man to wear pink. It also takes an NFL lineman to sport a Hello Kitty smart car.
Dwyane Wade
Car: Cadillac Escalade
Proof that DWade wasn't always so stylish.The Chicago native started with tank tops and a baby blue Escalade, now he's getting free McLaren supercars and wearing fancy suits.
Chad Johnson
Car: Mercury Marauder
ACT question: Chad Johnson owns a Lamborghini Aventador, a Rolls-Royce Phantom, and a Mercury Marauder. Which one of these things doesn't belong?
Chris Johnson
Car: Chevrolet Caprice
The only reason we would enjoy seeing this thing in person is if it were in a little cruise with Darius Miles, Darren McFadden and Devin Hester.
Devin Hester
Car: Custom Chevy
It's too bad somebody didn't put a rag in the gas tank and light it on fire while Devin was at the counter buying some Big League Chew and paying for his fuel.
Darren McFadden
Car: Buick Centurion
Does Run DMC have an obsession with the Riddler that we don't know about?
Mario Balotelli
Car: Bentley Continental SuperSports
There's no sense in trying to figure out why Super Mario does the the crazy things he does. For anyone else, putting camo on a Bentley would be bonkers, but we're dealing with the dude who threw darts at child soccer players when he was bored. At least his choice here doesn't hurt anyone.
Darius Miles
Car: Pontiac Grand Ville Convertible
You know, it's really hard to contest his judgement after he decided to star in the forever-remembered classic film "The Perfect Score," but we call shenanigans on this one. Sorry, all you dunk donk fanatics.
Alfonso Soriano
Car: Hummer H2
This thing went up for sale a few weeks ago, and what do you know? Alfonso Soriano is now on the block and possibly going back to New York for a Yankees reunion. He must have known his time in Cubby blue and in Chicago was limited.
Joe Johnson
Car: Ford F-650 Super Truck XUV
Apparently Joe Johnson threw down $200,000 grand to deck out his F-650. Among other non-essentials, he added three flatscreens and a seat that converts to a bed. Instead of trying to make a truck into a home, he should have just purchased another actual house.
Marion Barber
Car: Chevrolet Impala
You had us until we saw that blower, Marion. The former Cowboys running back must have gotten tired of it because he put the Impala for sale on eBay back in 2011.
