25 Things You (Probably) Didn't Know About Hulk Hogan

Image via Complex Original

In 2012 a sex tape of Hulk Hogan hit the internet featuring the woman above (Heather Clem) who also happened to be married to Bubba the Love Sponge, Hulk's best man. The two performed oral sex after getting the go-ahead from an off-screen Bubba who would be "in his office." The entire tape last 30 minutes which is approximately 29 minutes longer than most of our tapes would last (look at that woman, there's no shame in it). Of note is the fact that Hulk had a seemingly enormous member. All that steroid use? At worst, it shrunk his balls, and nobody cares about balls.

When it's all over he leaves to meet his son who's dating a girl with a twin who wants to "hook up" with Hulk. To sum it up he bangs his best man's girl while being unknowingly taped before double dating with his son in an attempt for the two to bang twin sisters.

Damn, this guy lives even better storylines outside the ring.

UPDATE: 

The sex tape is also reportedly linked to an audio recording of Hogan spewing racial epithets to Clem, and telling her that "I guess we're all a little racist," among other things. As a result, the WWE has effectively cut ties with Hogan, wiping his likeness from their website, and removing him from various WWE-related events and activities. 

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And if this old Nickelodeon special is to be believed, his childhood was an absolute nightmare. From trying to win over his peers by eating as much food as he could, to having no friends (besides his guitar teacher), Yung Hogan had it rough. If Hulk has taught us anything it's that there's only one combination that can drag you out of a lifetime as a loser: training, saying your prayers and eating your vitamins.

Actually, it's probably closer to tanning beds and steroids.

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In 1985 Hulk faced the worst fear of superstitious athletes everywhere by appearing on the cover of Sports Illustrated, becoming the first wrestler to ever grace the front of the iconic magazine. It's been over 29 years since, and still no other wrestler has been deemed worthy enough to follow suit. We held our breath for Hornswoggle, but some people don't recognize greatness when they see it.

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At some point in your life somebody has probably tried to test your commitment. Maybe you had a girlfriend who's dad busted your balls. Maybe you took a class with a test the first day. Maybe you joined a team that made you sprint miles during the first practice. When Hulk Hogan decided he wanted to become a wrestler he trained with the legendary Hiro Matsuda. On his first day a stable of veterans did one of those aforementioned tests by "exercising him until he was going to faint," and then they took it up a notch and broke his leg. When he returned months later (without the police) they realized how dedicated he was. A year later he was already on the pro circuit.

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Right before the first WrestleMania, Richard Belzer had both Mr. T and Hulk onto his talk show Hot Properties to promote the event. For several minutes the host needled Hogan to perform a move on him (apparently learning nothing from John Stossel). Eventually Hulk complied and put him in a front-chin lock knocking him the fuck out (as seen above). This led to a $5 million dollar lawsuit filed by Belzer against Hogan, with the matter eventually being settled out of court. How much Belzer wound up with is unclear as the range (depending on who you believe) is relatively massive. Hogan suggested that both he and McMahon paid $2.5 million each, while Belzer says the amount was closer to $400,000. Either way we think it's secure as the most expensive sleeper hold of all time.

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We're not 100% sure what led to Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage's real-life feud (the internet point to all sorts of Miss Elizabeth rumors), but in 2003 "Macho Man" released a diss track telling Hogan to "Be a Man" on an album with the same name. His sound? Think Xzibit doing a Slim Jim commercial.

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Wrestling's a tough business and it takes a while to find your niche (Connecticut Blueblood, anyone?) so it should come as no surprise that Hulk Hogan entered the ring for the first time with a different persona than that which made him famous. Originally he was the generically named "[The] Super Destroyer" a hooded character that's been played by several different wrestlers, both before and after Hulk. He then left wrestling for a while but came back as part of a tag team with Brutus Beefcake, though the two were known as the Boulder Brothers at the time. He also went by Sterling Golden but eventually found a more permanent moniker to go by thanks to...

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Hogan eventually found his way to the Continental Wrestling Association in Memphis and while there he appeared on a local talk show with the Incredible Hulk himself, Lou Ferrigno. Whilst Ferrigno stood six feet four, Hogan (who had similar width) actually rose three inches higher. When the host noted that Hulk was actually bigger the wrestler stole the name and began to go by Terry "The Hulk" Boulder. He added Hogan when he met Vince McMahon who wanted "an Irish name" for the up-and-coming wrestler. Apparently, Hulk McHugendong didn't have the right ring to it.

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Hulk Hogan was bigger than Lou Ferrigno 35 years ago but if they were to re-measure it's likely Ferrigno would be able to see Hulk-eye-to-eye, literally. That's because Hogan has lost roughly three inches of height due to surgeries and procedures over the years.  You may still envy a man who's well over six feet tall, but you probably wouldn't take it if that back pain came with it.

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If you almost died in an aviation disaster, you'd have hang-ups about flying too. John Madden bought a bus, Hulk Hogan makes sure to wear specific undies. The reason behind the ritual? He not only survived a plane crash, he survived two whilst wearing the same pair of crimson briefs (though we'd guess they're a little brown after all they've been through).

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Speaking of shit, in 1985 there was a short-lived TV show (as in six episodes short lived) Rock 'n' Wrestling featuring WWF wrestlers partnered with (we assume) a giant boulder. Instead of playing themselves the wrestlers were voiced by real actors with Brad Garrett voicing Hulk and Uncle Phil voicing Junkyard Dog. If you want to find an episode of it click here or, (instead of wasting your time) picture He-Man with a mustache, but instead of battling the forces of Skeletor he uses his immense strength to heroically intimidate an innocent baker before destroying his livelihood and getting into a climactic battle with bread dough (on second thought just watch it, even if we ruined the ending).

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Hulk was apparently director Joel Schumacher's third choice to portray Mr. Freeze (behind eventual pick Arnold Schwarzenegger and runner-up Sylvester Stallone) in an effort to make a movie that would make audiences forget Plan 9 From Outer Space. The role would need a strong actor, as the suit for the part weighed 75 lbs. Fortunately for Hulk he was able to dodge this impending disaster which saved him from reading a plethora of awful puns while also keeping his film resume unblemished.

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Hogan was supposedly the best amateur pitcher in the state of Florida (though we admit that that doesn't sound very official). Whether or not that's true he was good enough to be scouted by both the Reds and Yankees, and his physique would've fit right in during the steroid era. Unfortunately he suffered an injury that ended his baseball career without ending his wrestling career. 

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When Hulk Hogan started watching wrestling at the age of 16, Dusty Rhodes was starting out as one-half of a tag team of heels: The Texas Outlaws of the American Wrestling Association. While Hogan took a liking to Rhodes he began to imitate "Superstar" Billy Graham. All you have to do is click here to see the "resemblance." Resemblance/Plagiarism, those are synonymous, right?

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Though he only lasted at that position for two days. Oh, what could have been...

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At the age of 20, Terry (note: not Hulk) was majoring in Business Management at the University of South Florida. Realizing that Wendy's was probably the type of business he would be "managing" there he dropped out to join up with a couple of other musicians and formed a band called Ruckus whom he played the bass for. The type of move that would backfire 99% of the time actually got Hogan's foot into the wrestling door because his band played at so many bars where Floridian wrestlers were performing.

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In 1994 wrestling was in the midst of a steroid scandal and the government contended that Vince McMahon was providing his employees with steroids. Hulk was immune from prosecution due to his willingness to cooperate with federal prosecutors. This had all the makings of an excellent storyline, except it was real-life. Hogan claimed that he used steroids for 14 years, but had stopped in 1994 when he joined the WCW. For whatever reason the allegedly competent prosecution accepted that. Having then said that Vince McMahon never ordered him to take the PEDs, the star witness got the chairman off the hook and prevented him from doing time in prison.

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He was offered an opportunity to market the future cash-cow as the "Lean, Mean, Grilling Machine" but apparently missed his agent's call when he was "picking up the kids." Instead the idea was promoted by George Foreman who credited his return to the boxing ring to healthy eating. The product then sold over 100 million units, with Foreman getting 40% of the profits. As if that wasn't a sweet enough deal, Salton Inc. eventually paid him $137 million for the naming rights. Hulk was left with a juicer (which actually does make sense when you consider the last slide) and his own rival machine well after the grilling bubble burst.

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In late summer of 2007, Hulk's wannabe racer son got drunk and crashed his car into a tree while his friend John Graziano rode shotgun without fastening his seatbelt. Graziano was seriously injured turning him from this, into (warning: graphic) this. He will almost certainly require 24-hour care for the rest of his life due to the brain damage he sustained that night. If that's not a PSA, we don't know what is. Unfortunately his brother Michael didn't listen and suffered from an eerily similar accident five years later that killed him. If their mother's wasn't already feeling like The Book of Job combined with Days of Our Lives their dad is currently serving a 10-year sentence after hiring a hit man to kill her.

Damn that's a lot on her plate.

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When your wife tries to publicly embarrass you, your son is in jail, and your daughter sings like this, your mind can start to go to dark places. In 2007 that's the Dwayne Johnson-less rock bottom Hulk had hit. His co-host on the upcoming American Gladiators reboot, Laila Ali, called him when he was in the midst of drinking rum and Xanax and holding a gun to his temple. Fortunately he didn't go through with it and turned his life around before getting married to a woman 22 years younger than him and getting his career back on track.

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One of the only celebrities who's topped him? John Cena, whose "Never Give Up" slogan gets put to good use as he "does two-to-three kids a week." And even though we could've phrased that better it's still an admirable accomplishment for both men.

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In one version Hulk says they lived in the same Stamford, Connecticut neighborhood, in another he says they lived next-door. He also went on to say that he taught Vince McMahon everything he knows about the wrestling business while they lifted weights and rode motorcycles together. As we already mentioned, Hogan saved McMahon from potentially getting pile-driven in the shower of a federal penitentiary. At that point it doesn't matter how long he let his grass get, how many cars he parked on the street, or how ridiculous his claims at the beginning of this paragraph are, Hogan cemented himself—forever—as a good neighbor.

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So what did Hulk snitch about? Apparently The Body was attempting to unionize wrestlers. According to Jesse he was "not trying to screw Vince McMahon," but wanted to make sure wrestlers were taken care of medically after their careers were over. As of today WWE wrestlers still don't have employee health insurance and considering that they break their necks and tear their assholes in the ring, that doesn't sound like such a crazy idea.

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Vince (Kennedy) McMahon bought the WWF from his dad and immediately set out to impose his vision. When he took over, Bob Backlund was the man holding the title belt. But as the crowd turned on Bob (even voting him the most overrated wrestler in the Wrestling Observer Newsletter) it appeared that the end of his reign was inevitable. So the plan was for him to turn heel and lose to Hogan. The only problem was that Backlund refused due to the fact that Hulk didn't have a "legitimate wrestling background." McMahon found a workaround and the day after Christmas 1983, he had Backlund lose to the Iron Sheik who had been an assistant coach for two Olympic wrestling squads, and was the Amateur Athletic Union Greco-Roman wrestling champ. Backlund wasn't given a rematch and instead Hulk beat the Iron Sheik to claim the title and held it until 1988.

Sheik had bested Backlund by finishing him with a Camel Clutch, the same move he used on Hogan when he supposedly got an erection (see, here it is). If we had time to get into that, we'd give you an extra slide. Unfortunately we're as confused about it as he probably was. So ultimately it works out best if we just never bring it up again.

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