Toilet Reading: How Derrick Rose Became the Best Point Guard in the NBA

If for no other reason, you have to read Derrick Rose's feature in the new issue of Sports Illustrated to hear what Bulls reserve Brian Scalabrine has to say about him. Seriously. At first, you're gonna be all "Why the fuck does Brian Scalabrine get the first quote in a Derrick Rose story?" And then you're probably gonna go call everyone you know and tell them how great the quote is—and how accurately it describes Rose. Just trust us on this one. [Read it here, via SI]