Steph Curry has an incredibly bad Brita ad, and yada, yada, yada, let's just dive right into this thing. We are introduced to this random guy on Jan. 1 where he proclaims "New year, new me" while looking over his list of New Year's resolutions. At the top of his list is "Ditch bottled water," ahead of eating healthy, working out, and being a better boyfriend? Look, we just met this dude but his priorities feel way off. 

The very next day, this guy has fallen way off the wagon. Or, at least, that's what we're made to believe because he has food and water bottles lying all around his living room. Now, I don't mean to play devil's advocate here, but shouldn't we applaud him for drinking water as he engages in these "unhealthy" eating habits? 

As he goes to take another bite of pizza, our hero begins to speak to a poster of Curry. "Don't look at me, Stephen Curry," he said. "What? You never had pizza for breakfast?" Then, Steph appears out of nowhere with one goal—help this guy become a better all-around person. 

And that's where the song kicks in. A simple Google search will tell you that Curry's first name isn't actually Stephen, but that's the least of this tune's concern. Steph runs through this guy's list and let's just skip ahead to that last bullet point again. In order to become a better boyfriend, this dude just remembers their anniversary by giving his girlfriend a card with a photo of himself holding a bouquet of roses on the inside. Oh, and spoiler alert, it turns out Steph was never with him all along. So, this girl just casually accepted the fact that he had a plate of food out for an empty chair? Leave. Him. Girl. 

The moral of this commercial's story is that you should just get a Brita pitcher, and all your other problems will just figure themselves out. If that's the case, excuse me, I need to go buy a Brita pitcher right now.