The Dolphins had a lot of low points during their 2017-18 NFL season. But you could argue that none was lower than when a video of their now-former offensive line coach Chris Foerster sniffing lines of cocaine surfaced in October. A Las Vegas woman leaked the video after Foerster sent it to her—she later claimed she did it to expose the racial inequalities that exist in the NFL—and Foerster was eventually forced to resign from his position with the Dolphins and check himself into a rehab facility in Florida.

Since then, Foerster has managed to keep his name out of the news by staying quiet. He hasn’t spoken publicly about the controversial coke video, his future in the NFL, or his rehab stint. But he broke his silence during an interview with reporter Tom Pelissero this week, and Foerster—who is still taking part in intensive outpatient treatment, according to Pelissero—didn’t shy away from discussing anything and everything related to his crippling cocaine addiction, which he said he kept "secret" from everyone both inside and outside of the Dolphins’ organization.

While speaking with Pelissero, Foerster said he now believes there was some "divine intervention" going on when the video of him using cocaine showed up on social media. It’s obviously not the way he would have wanted his addiction to come out. But he talked about how, just weeks prior to the video emerging, he was wondering how much longer he was going to be able to continue to use drugs.

"I was to the point where I was just praying to God, I want this stuff out," Foerster said. "Not like exposed, but I want this out of my life. I can’t do this anymore. All this shit I had going on outside of work, I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to drink anymore. I don’t want to use anymore. And sure enough, two weeks later, the video came out. So you can say it’s divine intervention. It wasn’t the way I saw everything leaving my life like that. But I knew it was coming. At 55 years old, man, I just couldn’t do this anymore."

Foerster told Pelissero he first started using cocaine in 2015 when he was coaching with the 49ers. He also said that he first met Kijuana Nige, the woman who later leaked the video of him doing cocaine, through a Backpage ad in September while he and the Dolphins were in California for a game against the Chargers. He claimed he was using cocaine in the video before a team flight and not before a team meeting as was previously reported, and he said that the video captured him using cocaine for the final time before he was outed for it.

In addition to talking a lot about using cocaine, Foerster touched on how his addiction affected his personal life, especially in the aftermath of the video coming out. Foerster is still married, but his wife didn’t know he was using cocaine regularly prior to the video being released. She was also unaware he had any kind of relationship with Nige. It could result in the couple divorcing when all is said and done. Foerster has also experienced a strain in his relationships with his three adult children. One of his children, his youngest son, hasn’t spoken to him much since he checked himself into rehab.

"He feels betrayed, like I’m a big liar," Foerster said. "And I was. I am. I was exposed for the fraud that I am by this woman. And I’ve exposed myself. I don’t want to live that life anymore."

But despite all the trouble cocaine has caused him, Foerster told Pelissero he’s happier now than he’s been at any time in the past. He’s not out of the woods yet by any stretch of the imagination, but he said he’s sober and doing his best to "fix" his life as best he can.

"I’ve never felt better," he said. "I’ve never been happier. I’ve never been more clear. I’ve never been more open to whatever the possibilities are as I am right now today."

We should point out that, towards the end of his talk with Pelissero, Foerster spoke about wanting to get back into coaching at some point in the near future. That might lead some people to believe that he’s only speaking up now to try and get a job for next season. But for the most part, Foerster sounded sorry for the way things played out for him this season while simultaneously sounding like a man who’s somewhat glad things unfolded the way they did in such dramatic fashion.

"I made a terrible mistake and I’m responsible for it," Foerster said, "and I didn’t go to treatment because I wanted to get my job back. I knew this shit was out of control. It’s been the most humbling experience. But it’s what I needed."

You can see everything Foerster had to say about his battle with addiction, his relationship with Nige, and more here.