Saturday night Michigan thoroughly wiped their butts with Rutgers in a clash one-sided Big Ten East massacre. And while the 78-0 score should serve as enough of an illustration of how uneven the "match" was, a quick look at the summary somehow shows that the game was even more of a blowout than the final outcome indicates.

For starters, the 78-0 final was the biggest whooping handed down from one FCS team to another this century. Rutgers had six yards of total offense in the first half, and that was all wiped away after their first five players of the second half, which lost seven yards. They finished the game with 39 total yards (5 of which came via the pass), whereas Michigan had 600. Rutgers recorded their first first down of the game in the fourth quarter, and ended the night with two. The Scarlet Knights ended up going 0-for-17 on third downs, completed two passes, and also punted 16 times during the contest. Their longest play of the night from scrimmage went for 12 yards.

Contrast that with the Wolverines, whose fullbacks (a position we didn't even know existed anymore) scored four of their school record-tying nine rushing touchdowns. They also had six different players who finished with more yards than Rutgers' entire team.

While it would be easy to say that Rutgers were the biggest losers of the night--or, just period--that distinction actually goes to an Ann Arbor Ruth's Chris Steak House who promised to subtract the percentage of the victory from a total food bill (aka 78 percent). They later changed it to say "up to 50 percent."

The whole promotion seemed a little shortsighted considering Brady Hoke is no longer the coach of UM. And while you think people would be super stoked to have half of their bill subtracted, some commenters on Facebook were still mad that the restaurant refused to honor their initial announcement (which, for the record, the steak house claims was "not clear" in their Friday post). One user wrote, "Very weak on the 50 percent qualifier. You made an offer, keep your word." Another wrote, "A half off discount (if it's true that you're capping) is nice, no doubt. But you shouldn't make promises you don't plan on keeping." Still, yet another stated rather succinctly, "Lol, not enough balls to go 78 percent off huh?"

Anyway, there's no word on whether the Scarlet Knights will help to foot any of the bill. Though, given their total dump of a performance, it seems that that would be more than appropriate.