Ayo, Chase Utley, Pat Burrell, Randy Johnson, Greg Maddux, Mike Hampton, Bernie Williams, and Jeff Francouer: Daaaaaaamn, homies! If the rumors going around right now are true, you guys better lawyer up—quickly!—and get this shit under control. 'Cause the word is that there's a groupie who's slept with dozens and dozens of ballplayers (think: Superhead-meets-Candy Deep Throat) who is shopping a book about all of her sexual encounters with MLB players to several different publishers right now. And all of your names are currently being linked to this chick. Just don't say we didn't warn ya! [via Terez Owens]