words // Luis Sanchez
Let's face it, sometimes luck isn't always on the side of some of the world's most successful footwear companies. From failed technologies to incredibly odd uses of materials, we've seen it all in the footwear world.
Not letting these failures go un-noticed, we've decided to celebrate Friday the 13th with a look back at thirteen of the most frightening shoes of all time.
Read-on at your own risk, some of these might be too tough to handle..
Jordan Son of Mars
We kick off the countdown with a silhouette that has just about everyone scratching their head -- and they haven't even released yet. The original Spike Lee inspired Spiz'ike ushered in the at-times suspect hybrid era, but it told a great story. The "Son of Mars," however, is a sequel in the iconic filmmaker's series that would've been better off going straight to DVD. We expect them to be going straight to the outlets.
Crocs Classic Cayman
Admit it, we all have that one embarassing family member who strongly swear by their Crocs Classic. (We'll even admit it too, Zac owns an orange pair.) Crocs claims them to be the greatest and most comfortable shoes of all time, but in reality they're probably the least appealing pair of shoes you could ever put on your feet. On the bright side, we have yet to see an official Crocs thread hit the SC Forums. Good job, you guys.
Air Jordan Retro 3 LS "Do The Right Thing"
Although everyone might not agree with these, it's unfortunate that another Spike Lee inspired Air Jordan is on today's list. Making things even worse, it's the timeless Air Jordan III. If you've ever wondered how you can actually make an Air Jordan III completely unappealing, these would be it.
Stamp'd "Steezy" Hi
Taking lazy footwear designs to unreachable heights, LA-based Stamp'd lived up to their name with this horrible rip of the Kanye West LV Jasper. Stamp'd got their creative juices flowing and decided to literally stamp the LV Jasper silhouette on a white canvas upper for their debut into the world of footwear with the Steezy Hi. Pretty pathetic.
G-Defy Athletics Gravity Defyer
Featured back in 2010 as part of our "When Disaster Strikes" feature, the G-Defy Athletics Gravity Defyer is the perfect example of what you call a "no shame sneaker design." Check that logo! No, it's not a coincidence -- G-Defy Athletics honestly felt a sperm silhouette logo perfectly represented their life and energy improving mantra.
Air Jordan AJF Fusion Series
Attempting to combine "the best of both worlds" and pretty much swinging and missing, the Jordan Brand released a variety of Air Jordan / Air Force 1 fusion sneakers back in the fall of 2007. Many of you might disagree with fusions making this list, but it's tough to deny they played a huge part in the decline of Jordan Brand over the past few years.
Dada MP3
Remember Dada? These need no explanation. Just when chromed-out sneakers and shoes with a literal spinning rim on the upper had run its course, Dada seriously had a MP3 player built into some kicks. Really? Talk about hooping in style!
Reebok Zig Cliffhanger
Before even perfecting their at-times leading technology in the world of running and basketball footwear, Reebok took things a bit too far and brought to life the Zig Cliffhanger Hiking boot. Extremely tough on the eyes, it's hard to imagine anyone actually paid the full retail price of $130 for these.
Vibram Five Fingers
Every time I see a pair of these, I can't help but wonder how many honest consumers walk into a gym (or rock-climbing center) with their heads held high. Sure, the natural feel and close-fitting "shoe" might serve a purpose, but there's zero chance you could ever successfully defend the appearance of Vibram's Five Fingers. The only thing worse than the performance-driven look is the fact that there's actually fools out there who rock these casually. What a fail.
Zaha Hadid for Lacoste
Released back in July of 2009, the Zaha Hadid for Lacoste footwear collection was just one of those ideas that looks good on paper, but didn't exactly translate well at all. Although there wer some respectable silhouettes in the collection, they just weren't enough to earn the respect Zaha Hadid's architectural work has demanded in the past.
adidas The Kobe II
Almost eleven years after their original release and The Kobe Two is still just as hideous. Aside from representing one of Kobe's most complete seasons of his career and his second NBA Championship, the adidas Kobe II did not have much to offer consumers or even Kobe himself. Based on the fact he left the brand entirely after they released, it's safe to say Kobe didn't exactly care for these either.
Fila Helmsman
It's bad enough Prada's America's Cup silhouette has already been completely counterfeited and copied by a countless amount of no-name footwear brands. But for a somewhat respectable company like Fila to be the one pulling the jack-move, with huge in-store displays to boot, it's just completely disrespectful and a complete low point in the brand's history.
Sketchers Shape-Ups
The Skechers Shape-Ups also need no explanation. Going through the list, you had to expect these would make the cut. Just about the only good thing to come from the awkwardly hideous and unnatural Skechers Shape-Ups was the incredibly successful marketing campaign featuring the goddess that is Ms. Kim Kardashian.
