15 Non-Athletes That Deserve a Signature Sneaker

Image via Complex Original

Brand: Nike
First Signature Sneaker: Nike Air About Nothing

Jerry Seinfeld had the '90s on lock while killing the game in white Nikes. Other than MJ and Bo, Seinfeld's Air domination wasn't held down by a signature shoe. He was free to get his white sneaker game on whilst making suburbia piss their pants with laughter. His legacy carries on as we remember all of the classics he rocked on the show. Why not give a line of new "retro" designs full of coked-out colorways and old-school nuances for old heads who loved him and new heads who love anything retro?

Brand: Vans
First Signature Sneaker: Vans Bastard LX

The popularity that Tyler, The Creator has drummed up for brands like Supreme, OFWGKTA, and Vans has been quite impressive. And with the release, and subsequent melee, for his collaborative Old Skool, Vans needs to sign the carefree rapper to a deal. And name his signature shoe after his wildly popular debut, Bastard, to keep that unscrupulous teenage money coming its way.

Brand: Jordan Brand
First Signature Sneaker: Jordan N'Sync 

Justin Timberlake's affinity for Jordans has been on record for a few years now, but it was solidified with his "Legends of Summer" pack to coincide with his world tour. It's not every day an R&B cat gets his own PE sneaker from anyone, let alone Jordan. The all-red colorways had the Internet going nuts and women worldwide were even trying to get their hands on 'em. Has JT just opened up an entirely new market for Jordan Brand? Sign that high-pitched renaissance man up.

Brand: adidas
First Signature Sneaker: Adidas Consortium "Harlem" Collection

A$AP Rocky has already been accepted into the adidas family with his Jeremy Scott collaborations, but with the signings of Kanye and Pharrell, the brand needs to add this last rapper to the roster. Pharrell will appeal to a more mainstream crowd with his new collection. And Kanye has stronghold on most of the same audience that Rocky has dabbled in, but Rocky still has street cred with the kids who are still into J. Scott—but only because Rocky is. He can carve his own niche with adidas, whether it be with some more risky designs with Y-3 or a fashion-forward Consortium collection. 

Brand: Reebok
First Signature Sneaker: Reebok Soldiers

Juvenile's dedication to Reebok Classics has been visually and lyrically documented. Did you switch from Nikes to Reeboks (ha) because of the affinity Juvie and the rest of the NOLA's dope boys showed to the brand? Probably. So why not give the man his own shoe capitalizing on one of Reebok Classics' classic nicknames: Soldiers? Magnolia Projects and all hoods alike would latch on. 

Brand: Vans
First Signature Sneaker: Vans Woost God Slip-On

It's no secret that Nick Wooster is one of the darlings of the #menswear world. There is photographic documentation of his existence everyday on this earth for the last five or so years. He can be caught repping many menswear brands—giving them "The boost from Woost" they're looking for. He's been street-styled mostly in hard-bottom shoes, but has showcased slip-ons from brands like Diemme, Greats and, of course, Vans. Vans' Lifestyle segment already calls on other menswear favorites like Engineered Garments and WTaps. So it should take advantage of Wooster's clout by giving him a line of Slip-Ons that will have fanboys and swaggerjackers lining up outside of Journeys.

Brand: Jordan Brand
First Signature Sneaker: Jordan Normcores

You've seen the man rocking just about every release over the past few years, sitting courtside with his soon-to-be baby momma, Olivia Wilde. He is the modern day Jerry Seinfeld in terms of sneaker influence, making prominent Jordan Brand drops looking hella bland and almost, dare we say, normal? It's hard to make a pair of "White Cement" IIIs look like dadwear. And you know what? It works, because there are more people out there like him than there are like us. So introducing high-profile Js to the rest of America means more $$$ for Jordan. 

Brand: New Balance 
First Signature Sneaker: New Balance Blue Chips (EE Width only)

We can all agree that Action Bronson isn't the most proportionate fellow at "5'8, 260." His flow, however, holds its own weight in the ever-changing rap arena. For heavyset fellows all over the world who just want some dope ass kicks, Bam Bam's New Balance deal could open up the door for them all. Paired with NB's wide widths, his ability to sell New Balance to bigger dudes with style—instead of old-ass mallwalkers—will pay dividends.

Brand: Jordan Brand
First Signature Sneaker: Jordan Heist

Question: Is Macklemore as influential as Drake? Before you go throwing your hands up in the air in disgust, think about his recent success with a mass market and maybe it isn't so crazy? You can't deny that songs like "Same Love" have reached a demographic no rapper has even tried to tap into. And "Wings" and "Thrift Shop" have people rummaging for old Js and velour jumpsuits. He also may have inadvertently introduced "Red Octobers" to everyone watching the NYE Ball Drop. Tell us Jordan wouldn't want someone to reach the beginner hip-hop fans like he does?

Brand: APL
First Signature Sneaker: APL Dictators

It's only fitting that a dictator whose actions have been deemed reprehensible and downright illegal in the U.S. would get a shoe deal from the one shoe that is banned in the NBA. Kim Jong-Un could literally force an entire country to rock his sneaker in further attempt to make all citizens more interested in basketball. Sorry Kimmy, but if Rodman's crazy ass can't help, then you're SOL. 

Brand: Jordan Brand
First Signature Sneaker: Air Jordan Spinebuster

Batista is loved. Batista is hated. Whatever WWE fans feel, they feel some type of way about the Goliath of a wrestler. And while he's bombing folks for Royal Rumble championships in his Jordans or laying the smackdown on Smackdown in Kobe 9s, he gives sneakers a different spin by taking on opponents in high-top basketball sneakers. We don't know what the ratio of basketball aficionados to wrestling fans is, but we guarantee he'd be introducing his super dope, super high-top Jordans to some WWE heads.

Brand: Jordan Brand
First Signature Sneaker: Whatever He Feels Like Calling Them

Personality is what sells sneakers—that and on-field performance. Khaled has plenty of jokes to entertain the crowd, and he drops hit record after hit record. It's also dope to see someone who's not afraid to wear their sneakers. Imagine Khaled in a Jordan Brand commercial, jumping off a yacht in his signature sneakers? Khaled claims "They don't love you no more," but fans would eat up a Khaled x Jordan project.

Brand: Reebok
First Signature Shoe: Reebok Dipset Immunity

The Computer-Putin' starter has been reppin' Reebok HARD lately. Cam'ron's been staying alive making hilarious Instagram posts and Vine videos with Juju, walking the runway during Fashion Week, and just overall being, well, a Killa. His Dipset following still reminisces over the days of all-pink-everything, incredible features with the whole crew on a track (they're back), and quite possibly the re-invigoration of rappers actually having unattainable swagger. Why wouldn't Reebok want to introduce a line of Killa kicks?

Brand: Nike
First Signature Sneaker: Nike Air Presidential 

President Obama can ball. OK, he's just alright. But he's the President, so you won't say that to his face. And in that same vein, you won't tell El Presidente that he can't have his own signature shoe. Even when they are super bland, super affordable, and made for the "common American." So you can expect to see the Nike Air Presidential offered at your local Famous Footwear, Department of Motor Vehicles, and Post Office.

Brand: Nike
First Signature Sneaker: Nike Sherane

Kendrick Lamar's emergence as one of rap's premier showmen has been swift and with lots of racket. K Dot has made it very apparent that he knows he's good. He's also made it apparent that he is cognizant of his Compton roots and has vowed to only rock the Nike Cortez. He's broke that promise, but he constantly has rap enthusiasts paying attention.

His ability to rock GR Nikes and sought-after limited releases is admirable, but until Kendrick gets his own signature shoe—with some back story about how they'd help him run from his attackers and show up at Sherane's house—his fans won't be satisfied.