The Official Stan Smith Power Rankings

When Adidas announced that they were bringing back the Stan Smith back in January, we kind of just shrugged and said, "Uh, okay, cool." Stan Smiths have always been a fine sneaker, but never exceptional. For the #menswear set, they were always kind of like what people who didn't feel like dropping $400 on Common Projects Achilles bought, or just another sneaker in the pantheon of basic, albeit classic styles that bros wear.

But quickly it became clear that Adidas wasn't fucking around. They wanted the Stan Smith to be the sneaker of the year, and so far, it pretty much has been through the force of sheer will. It's been worn by their recent signees Pharrell and Kanye West, and has become the staple sneaker amongst cool fashion industry insiders, from designers Pheobe Philo and Adidas collaborator, Raf Simons, to your favorite editor. Through a literal downpour of collaborative efforts as well, Adidas has made sure that everyone at every taste level and price point imaginable can find the Stan Smith for them.

This influx has also emphasized the fact that Adidas has absolutely no chill, putting out some pretty terrible and weak ass versions of what might be its most iconic silhouette in the process. So, we've taken it upon ourselves to rank these releases in an effort to definitively determine the best of the best because that's just what the fuck we do.

16. Stan Smith "Lemon Print"

I mean, just nah. These are straight awful. Be better, everyone. Let's not spend any more time on these than we have to.

15. Stan Smith Pre-Re-Release

The Stan Smith, before its re-design and re-release this past year, was kind of a bulbous, awkward looking shoe in our not so humble opinion. In its new form, it has a much more sleek looking design and an overall narrower shape. Again, we're not sure if this is really true. It's just how we feel in our hearts, man. Maybe we're crazy, but it doesn’t seem that unlikely.

14. Stan Smith Skateboarding "Vulc"

The thicker sole on the Stan Smith Skateboarding shoe might make it more practical for ollies and kickflips, but it makes it look orthopedic in these streets and more reminiscent of the gross-looking, older silhouette we just mentioned than the new hot shit.

13. visvim Foley

Placing visvim this low on the list is some pretty severe shade, we know. But paying $700 for a sneaker that requires a double take for people to know it's NOT made by Adidas is pretty dumb.

12. Stan Smith x Bedwin & The Heartbreakers

Paint splatters were cool for about a month there. Essentially, these are the wildly struggle bus versions of those paint-splattered Margiela GATs, which, to be honest, weren't even that cool to begin with, so you can do the math on these. Who wants to walk around wearing shoes that look like they were worn to a 3rd grade art class?

11. Stan Smith x Clot

These are like the unofficial "OVO" Stan Smith if Drake and his boys wanted to look like dorks.

10. Stan Smith x Colette

We were so stoked on these after seeing the teaser back heal images, but were ultimately disappointed in them. Polka dot toes are for girls posting #nailart on Instagram, not exclusive kicks. These are yet another prime example of "less is more" and how 90% of the time Adidas has no idea what that means. Speaking of which...

9. Stan Smith x Pharrell

"Less is more" is also a concept that Pharrell should probably learn next time he wants to make his Stans not look like they were doodled on by a Japanese schoolgirl (though, to be fair, is kind of Pharrell's whole steez). That said, these were auctioned off and the money went to charity. It's just too bad that whoever paid top dollar for a pair of baby shoes.

8. Saint Laurent SL06

These are kind of sort of a flex, but that doesn't mean they're a worthy one. SLP's design isn't an exact rip of Adidas's, but the inspiration is wildly clear. Eh, who are we kidding? If you drop $600 on these you deserve to be happy, even if happiness means looking like a Eurodouche with mediocre taste in footwear.

7. Stan Smith OG "Vintage"

So, like, a Stan Smith, but worn to a Little League baseball game straight out of the box? We good.

6. Stan Smith Tier Strug

Obviously, these are pretty high up on the list because without these, none of the other shoes here would even exist (which, actually, in hindsight doesn’t seem all that bad). The tier strug, available everywhere Stan Smiths are the ones you're most likely to see in the wild and worn by real, actual human beings because they’re stylish, affordable and, most of all, boring.

5. Stan Smith OG

The OGs are basically the same as the Tier Strugs, but done up in nicer leather, which actually gives the shoe itself a better silhouette. These are also the versions you most likely saw your favorite influencer, celebrity or designer wearing because they have to find some way to be better than everyone else at all times.

4. Stan Smith Primeknit

The nicest of all materials utilized for our dear old Stan was Primeknit, which, yes, is Adidas's knock-off Flyknit. The fact that it’s currently summer could very well be clouding our judgement on this one, but it's hot as fuck out there. Style and function are extremely necessary right now and breathable materials are a lifesaver.

Pro-tip: Leather is the opposite of breathable.

3. Mastermind x Stan Smith

These would be pretty much perfect if it weren't for those stupid fucking skull and crossbones. But that’s Mastermind’s logo! Does it look like we give a fuck? A designer's job is to make hot shit, not to make everyone scared that wearing a pair of sneakers might give them cancer. But, still, overall these are pretty dope.

2. Stan Smith x Raf Simons

No, obviously not the all orange ones, you idiot. But we're always fans of the subtle flex, and what is more subtle than letting people know you dropped $400 on a $70 pair of sneakers than by simply moving around some perforation?

1. Adidas Consortium Stan Smith "Reptile"

Why is this the best of the bunch? Uh, is that a serious question? It takes the classic (if sometimes boring) aspects of the Stan Smith and doesn't simply do away with them, but instead makes them better via quality leathers and a somewhat subtle reptile print. Reptile print is obviously luxe as fuck and if you can't see that then we don't know what to tell you. At the end of the day, Stan Smiths are a great shoe that have saturated the market hard this year in both good and bad ways. The Consortium Reptile is the best example of the good and the best Stan Smith ever released to date. We're just being honest.