Jesus Christ has a birthday coming up, according to your local mall, meaning colors like red and green will start popping up in strewn lights for reasons not entirely clear. However, for those well-versed in matters of life and death, the holiday season provides another exhilarating opportunity to consider a very important pair of vaguely related questions:
1. Could Jesus have been, more or less, a (presumably vegan) zombie?
2. Why hasn't Santa Claus come to my house for the past, like, twenty years?
An Ohio man by the name Jasen Dixon, owner of the "13 Rooms of Doom" haunted house, has once again delivered the full-blown manifestation of a possible answer to the first question by blessing his neighborhood (for the second year in a row) with a delightful zombie nativity scene:
Dixon is now being charged $500 a day by Sycamore Township until he removes the installation, according to CBS 12. "I think it’s the theme," Dixon says. "It just rubs people the wrong way and it puts the spotlight on me. That’s why they’re coming down so hard on me." The fine is being imposed based on an apparent "zoning code" violation, though a similar attempt at having the nativity scene removed ultimately proved unsuccessful last year.
This is impressive work. However, the young god LD still boasts the best example of proper holiday blasphemy: