There’s a maddening familiarity to how shit plays out in response to school shootings, or mass shootings of any kind, in this decidedly inept country. This has once again been the case following the shooting at a Texas elementary school that left 19 children and two teachers dead, with gun-focused political leaders wasting no time in rolling out their usual drivel.
Ted Cruz, for example, has been making headlines for walking away from a reporter (see below) when asked about the U.S.’ lengthy history of shootings, as well as for saying a lot about doors during a Fox News appearance. The latter ultimately received attention from Jimmy Kimmel, who used the opportunity on Thursday night’s show to include mention of searching for pornographic material of the stepmother variety.
“His need for attention is so powerful,” Kimmel said. “He has been everywhere this week doing interviews, pontificating in that little ‘I care’ voice that he puts on, defending this disturbing allegiance these guys have to semiautomatic weapons which Ted says aren’t the problem. The problem, according to Ted Cruz, is that schools need to be more like prisons.”
Kimmel then played a clip of Cruz on Fox News talking about what Kimmel later joked were “door problems” before returning to his monologue.
“Ted knows a lot about doors. You know, doors are what he leaves his dog to look out of when it gets cold and he sneaks off to Cancun,” he said. “And while this one door idea—which is now all over the place—might make sense to the NRA crowd, you know who may have a problem with that? The fire department might have a problem with that. What a stupid, fake idea.”
The deeper digs came a bit later into Kimmel’s remarks, with the host advising Cruz to instead try actually doing his job.
“Listen, Ted. I know you’d rather spend your days doing impressions of The Simpsons and Googling ‘stepmom porn’ but at some point you might have to get down to it and do your job, and doors ain’t it,” he said. The “stepmom porn” mention, of course, is a reference to a 2017 incident involving Cruz’s Twitter account.