The Harsh Truth: How Women Really Feel About Social Media Thirst

The Married to the Mob blogger offers her perspective on spitting game online.

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Complex Original

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Tabatha McGurr is a Brooklyn bred-writer currently residing in Bed-Stuy with her boo and dog Coco. She's been running to the Married To The Mob blog for the past six years. In her weekly column, she gives Complex readers insight into what today's young women really think about love, sex, and relationships.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t, sometimes reluctantly, a slave to technology. It’s really just a result of growing up in this generation. Between blogs, Tumblr, Twitter, and Facebook, it’s become nearly impossible to avoid oversharing, which extends to e-flirting. It was bad enough getting bombarded with “A/S/L?!” anytime we logged into AOL, and these days, men are able to hunt and harass women on the Internet way more effectively. The really thirsty ones favorite all of our social media updates, obsess over our Instagrams, and stalk our Foursquares, and honestly, a lot of women love the attention, but you need balance. Let’s go over the pros and cons.


If you’re feeling a chick and you want to get at her online, don’t blow up every one of her profile pages. It’s such a thirst-alert when I get a friend request from someone on Facebook, don’t accept it, and then see the same person start following me on Twitter. For fuck’s sake, what ever happened to playing it cool? The point is to keep your attraction on the low from other people for as long as possible, rather than leave comment after comment about how fine she looks on every photo. Chicks get compliments all day long, especially on the Internet, so it’s important to make your attempts stand out a bit more. Send an email. Hit her with a random mutual interests related DM that doesn’t come across as too desperate or lame. But if you reach out once and she didn’t respond, don’t dwell on it and send 50 more messages. Take the L and go for someone else in your News Feed.


As a writer and appreciator of English language, it totally bums me out when people completely skip over all literary formalities just because they’re writing online. If you’re legitimately interested in a girl and want to take that next step towards asking her out, don’t send some simple ass message like, “wuts good sexi? i like ya pic, can i holla?” You might as well be spam. And one of the biggest turn-offs is bad spelling. You’re just giving us a reason to count you out before the courting even begins.


Macking online should be a thing of discretion. In this day and age, where jealous individuals can trail your everything you do, it’s crucial to keep your moves under wraps. Just last night my girl was telling me that her man once claimed he couldn’t talk because his phone died, then minutes later she saw him tweeting via iPhone. Having your stories mixed up is just as bad when you’re getting to know someone. Think before you type, because every chick you’re trying to get at online has the power to track that shit.


Even though I partake in this the silly world when I’m working behind a computer all day, I know when it’s time to step away from the shit. It’s ridiculous how much time people put into these networks. Instead of enjoying their hobbies or friends and family, they’d rather incessantly type about their trivial observations to the world. I can understand why teenagers might be hooked into this virtual craze, but when I see grown ass men glued to their phones 24/7 it drives me crazy. I’ve seen Twitter accounts where guys are literally tweeting non-stop from morning to night, and it’s like, don’t you have a life or a job? Oversharing makes you lose your mysteriousness and makes it way easier for us to find something annoying about you. When it seems like social media is your life, you using it to hit on us doesn’t seem like anything special.


All women need a little male thirst in their lives. It’s like a constant reminder that we still got it, and the same goes for compliments received online. So fellas, as long as you’ve got decent game, some spelling skills, and don’t look like a total douche in your avatar, there’s always hope. Just remember that there’s an entire army of other thirsty dudes out on the front lines with you.

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