Image via Complex Original
A wise man once said: "What's your addiction? Is it money? Is it girls? Is it weed? I've been afflicted by not one, not two, but all three."
For Turtle (Jerry Ferrara), the most vertically and financially challenged member of Entourage's rat pack, it has been mostly about the weed. While Ari's (Jeremy Piven) paper-making ambition and Vince's (Adrian Grenier) tail chasing are the root of all their drama, Turtle has only had one consistent troublemaker in his life for all eight seasons of the show, and her name is Mary Jane.
While we wouldn't categorize Turtle as addicted to weed (mostly because that's impossible), he has been pictured with innumerable bongs, joints, and other MJ-paraphernalia in hand in almost every episode, inarguably making him the show's token pothead.
Turtle's toking and toiling may be coming to a close with Entourage's final episonde this Sunday, but thanks to Complex, you will always be able to revisit Turtle's Greatest Weed Moments On Entourage. Because let's be real, Vince may have been bringing home the bacon for the boys, but it was Turtle who brought home the sticky icky they needed.
Turtle Gives Drug Advice To Kids
After crashing the kiddie buffet at Ari's daughter's Bat Mitzvah, Turtle and Drama run into some douchey kids who are unabashedly smoking a joint in the middle of the party. Having been through some marijuana related troubles of their own earlier, they take the opportunity to warn the would-be crackheads about the danger of gateway drugs.
Turtle attempts to commiserate with one of the pint-sized delinquents, and Drama goes the scared straight route, warning: "One day you're lighting up in front of a dozen adults at a Bat Mitzvah, the next your cruisin' down Santa Monica Boulevard offering hand-jobs for crack rock." When the kids inquire about who the desperate druggie was, Turtle passes the buck to Drama. It takes a hard rock to know a hard rock, though.
Turtle Sniffs Out MJ From A Mile Away
Vince can keep his refined sense of style, because Turtle has something more useful sense: a superhuman sense of smell. When Drama drags him around town to hunt down a hat with a marijuana emblem that he's convinced will up his cool, Turtle sniffs out the spot that's selling the goods with his expertly honed sixth sense for cannabis: "You smell that...? I'm not talking about pizza. That's some fine herb!"
Seriously, who needs GPS when you have Turtle's finely-tuned schnoz to do the detective work for you?
Turtle Turns Into A Dove
When Turtle and Drama's quest for cannabis fails, they turn to a friend who leads them to The Sherpa (expertly played by Val Kilmer). The Sherpa's digs are a doobie lover's dream: everything floor to ceiling is made of hemp, and Turtle takes advantage of his surroundings, grabbing as much weed from The Sherpa's greenhouse as his pockets can handle.
While indulging in some ganja with the gang, The Sherpa goes all meta-physical on Turtle and tells him he's "a dove," but Turtle disregards the philosophy lesson and focues on the task at hand: "That's cool, can I hit that?"
Turtle Does Bong Hits With Bob Saget
It's not just what you smoke, it's who you smoke it with. In this scene, Turtle has all his bases covered: Not only is he indulging in some fine Colombian herb, he's doing it with Mr. Tanner himself, Bob Saget. Turtle compliments the Sag on his stash while getting his puff on, all while decked out in a full-length plush robe with a sexy woman on his arm (because that's just how he does). Meanwhile, Drama is getting clowned by Bob, who quite literally steals his bikini-clad prospects from right under his arm.
Turtle Saves Drama From A Party Foul
In a truly rare moment, Drama actually outsmokes Turtle while playing smoke-or-strip poker in his trailer. When Drama goes in for yet another bong hit, though, he has a panic attack and starts losing his cool facade. Turtle swoops in and saves him from committing a party foul, and offers some words of wisdom, saying: "Why don't you just help yourself, and embrace it?"
Turtle, you sage, you. Always full of infinite weed wisdom.
Turtle Has The Munchies and Offers To Pay $100 For A Steak
Turtle and Drama are plagued by a mean case of the munchies and the only grub in sight is a "kosher vegetarian" meal for two. Rather than suffer at the cruel hand of Mary Jane, Turtle takes his dire circumstances into his own hands. He politley propostions his aging tablemate, and asks him to fork over his meal: "Excuse me sir, I will give you a $100 for that prime rib."
Unfortunatley for Turtle, the old guy is oblivious to Turtle's stoned state of mind (or just hard of hearing) and Turtle is left with cotton mouth instead of a steak. Tough luck, brah.
Turtle Gets Pulled Over And Is Forced to Toss His Stash
After Turtle learns that his favorite strain of weed has become extinct, he does what any stoner would do: embarks on a desperate quest for the goods. When his search finally yields some results, he stocks up on munchies (and few women too) and heads back to the house to share his find with the boys.
When the grenade in the backseat demands a sample smoke, Turtle will only offer her a quick whiff of the weed. But, while he's preoccupied with taking it back, he runs a light and get pulled over by the police. He manages to finagle his way out of the ticket by using Vince's name (no surprise there) but the officer still makes him toss his stash in the sewer.
He may be a Turtle but he's not slow: He drops the weed on a ledge and sucessfully retrieves it, and even the ball-busting brunette is impressed.
Turtle Burns Down Vince's House With A Joint
In a move that feels like it's straight out of a Cheech and Chong flick, Turtle somehow manages to burn down Vince's house in the first episode of season eight, with weed as his only accomplice.
Nervous about Vince's "return from rehab" party, Drama goes on a rampage and removes all traces of illegal substances from the house and much to Ari's fury, even replaces the vodka with water. But when Turtle is forced to lie to Vince and fake enthusiasm for his lame movie idea, his anxiety has him beelining straight to his secret stash. He indulges in a joint to calm his nerves, but when he's called away (on an false overdose alarm) he tosses the still-lit joint out the window (a classic stoner mistake), which sparks a full blown blaze that engulfs the entire house.
If Turtle was our boy, his stoner ass would be on the streets after that move. But, in a completely unrealistic twist, Vince is totally cool about it and calls it "a fresh start." Lucky bastard.
