How To Lock Down The Perfect Summer Fling

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There's something truly beautiful about a three month quasi-relationship that involves nothing more than sex, sunsets and tequila sunrises. Summer swoops in and inhibitions disappear, turning us into wild, can't-be-tamed thrill-seekers who are repulsed by anything resembling commitment and set the ideal stage for the phenomenon known as a summer fling.

We realize securing a suitable subject for your summer-long rendezvous is becoming a pressing need that dramatically reasserts itself as the humidity amps up, which is why we've boiled down the art of securing a temporary young thing (T.Y.T.?) down to 10 easy-to-follow steps. Behold, our handy guide on How To Lock Down The Perfect Summer Fling.

Seek Out Women With Expiration Dates 

Flings are never guaranteed an easy end. We're sorry to shatter your hedonistic optimism, but it's an unfortunate truth. We're people, not computers, and turning off the summer heat with the flip of a switch is a feat not easily accomplished. In retrospect, an oven analogy may have worked better here, but you get our point. 

Now that we've got that caveat out of the way, we'll offer this tiny consolation—exceptions exist! We like to refer to them as women with expiration dates. Women with expiration dates are set to disappear on a specific date, due to a firm set of unalterable circumstances or obligations, which means your summer fling will self-destruct, no detonation (or awkward "What is this, exactly?" conversation) necessary. 

She's a foreign exchange student who heads back to Europe in the fall? Snap that up. She's a school teacher on a short-lived stay at a vacation home? Jump on it. She's doing corporate training in a city she doesn't call home? Don't hesitate. Women like these will not only save you the stress of ending things yourself, they're most likely looking for exactly what you are: A good time for a short time, and nothing more.

Stop Hanging Out With Your Wifed Up Friends

One of the perils of being a single, twenty-to-thirty something man is the ever-decreasing availability of single friends to seize the day with. We feel for you, we really do, but the guy blowing up your Facebook feed with status updates singing the praises of monogamy, or worse yet, with pictures of him and his kid, is not the guy you take with you on the prowl. 

It's not that he's not perfectly capable of being a wingman (in fact, he's probably the best around), it's that he immediately gives off some sort of elusive bat signal to every woman within a 10 foot radius that says you are looking for the same level of commitment. And it makes sense. You judge her based on who she hangs with (as well you should), so why wouldn't she read into your crew, and infer things about you?

Leave boyfriend of the year at home (or, at the very least tell him to leave his girl behind) and rule in favor of your equally single, commitment-phobic friends when tracking down fling prospects and you'll have less wrong-headed assumptions to worry about.

Choose Your Fling Wisely 

See the girl gyrating on the bar, with the beach-hair-don't-care, taking shots of whatever is handed to her? That, sir, is your summer fling. But the girl with the neatly pressed polo, earnestly inquiring about where you grew up? She's girlfriend material, and she knows it, so don't expect any easy exits there.

Any man worth his seductive salt knows a woman looking for a commitment when he sees one, so why do you insist on attempting to turn a housewife into a…fling? Leave Little Miss. Inquisitive and her game of 20 questions behind, and point your penis in the direction of the girl basking in the glory of her bikini contest win. That's who you want for your three-month-thing, trust us.

Acquire New Stomping Grounds 

We're not saying you couldn't find a fling at your friendly neighborhood dive, you totally could, but when things go from flingy to clingy (which they've been known to do), you'll be confronted with two choices come Fall: take your draft down with your abandoned affair throwing you daggers from across the bar, or leaving your neighborhood gem behind in an effort to save face.

Being that neither are desired conclusions, maybe you should rethink your strategy and go fling-finding in a new bar, hell, maybe even a new neighborhood entirely. Spend your weekends in the Hamptons (or your summer retreat of choice), so when the summer heat and the steamy sex taper off, the likelihood of awkward run-ins are significantly less likely.

Go For Someone Who's Not Your Type

Most guys have a certain demographic they generally date within, or a certain type of female that routinely gets them going. If you're in the market for a fling, leave your standards at the door. Too old, too young, too wild, too tattooed—when you're in search for the short-term, your only qualifications should be "Hot-n-Fun." Legal is another important descriptor to keep in mind.

They say opposites have a smoldering sexual chemistry akin to really powerful, inseparable magnets. Opposites make for dubious long-term relationship material, but for a temporary affair, no pairing could be more mentally and physically arousing. Unexpected match-ups guarantee June through August will be brimming with electric experiences (when you're naked, and also when you're not). You'll try new things, push each other's buttons and boundaries, and find yourself routinely out of your depths. It will be a wild ride, and come Labor Day, if you find your interest waning, you can say what you both suspected all along: You're just not on the same page.

Keep The Focus On Fun

Appropriate activities to embark on with your hot-weather-hookup include drinking several bottles of Sauvignon Blanc on the beach with no regard for the tickets you might accrue, bottomless Bloody Mary brunches that extend until sundown, and impromptu 2 a.m. dance parties. Notice that none of these are legitimate, pre-planned dates. Spontaneity is the name of the game, gentleman.  

This relaxed mentality should also be applied toward conversation. Making out should take precedence over talking politics. Stressful days should be combated with sex and alcohol, rather than a night of talk therapy on the couch. And to clarify, we're not saying you should be rude or treat her badly, we just advocate against sending mixed signals. If you're looking for a fling, make sure your words and actions line up with your self-described state of mind.

Establish An Exit Plan

The best way to avoid miscommunication about what things are (ultra casual) and when they're going to end (when the summer winds down) is to be straightforward about what you seek. Contrary to what women's magazines might lead you to believe, not every woman is in rabid pursuit of a commitment. Females dig flings, too. What we aren't down with is being led on.

When you embark on your summer romp, call that spade from the start. Tell her you "just want to have fun" and you may just be surprised by her similarly Cyndi Lauper-esque motivations.

Don't Make Plans Beyond Labor Day  

One of the signs women instinctively look to, a commonly cited marker of whether or not a man is truly interested in a future with her, is making future plans. "He invited you to his Halloween party? OMG, he's totally into you," is an example of dialogue frequently overheard. We swear, this is how it goes down, almost verbatim.

How do you avoid making your fling think things are heading towards something more? Don't make plans for beyond Labor Day. Seriously. Make "carpe diem" the unofficial motto of your summer affair, and be in the moment with her, but don't think into (or more importantly, discuss) what comes beyond it.

Bail If Things Go From Steamy To Sticky 

It could happen as Fall approaches, or smack in the middle of July—the moment you realize she wants more. She's giving you stress over everything from unreturned texts to never being taken on dates, and it's become clear that you may have started on the same page, but at some point, you diverged from that shared path.

Rather than caving to her demands, be straightforward about what things are and reiterate where they are not heading, i.e.: not into Commitmentville, or even into September. You may think being that blunt makes you an asshole, but it doesn't. Honesty is always appreciated over vague hints at the truth we're forced to overanalyze with our friends. Yes, we do that.

Be Open to Riding The Wave

You've sewn enough wild oats to make the Quaker guy jealous, and the heat had you in cutting loose all summer long. But as the long days dwindle down and the tidal wave that was your unruly hormones subsides, you might be surprised to find you're actually considering shacking up. Sure, you wanted a fling, but even the most fun-loving fellas get bit by the attachment bug every once in awhile. Like we said earlier, you're only human.

We're not judging your change of heart, but you should check in with your fling and see if she feels the same way. If she's been playing by the same rules as you (avoiding future plan-making, keeping things light, etc.) she may not want to take the leap to pumpkin picking together, but if she's been hinting at more, now would be the right time to tentatively feel her out. Our advice: start simple. If you haven't already, ask to meet her friends. Take her out to dinner instead of daydrinking. If you've been honest and respectful for the last few months, she might just give you a shot at wooing her well into winter.