@ocugwu takes the road less queried.
With over 47 million users, a long-awaited recent expansion to Android and a big move to Facebookearlier this month, Instagram is spreading like dye through a Polaroid. If you haven't yet been lured by the photo-based social network, peer pressure to join its retro-glam ranks is only mounting. The app already contains multitudes—scores of pro-am photographers of all shapes, colors and creeds who have accepted its central promise: to replace a Twitter/Facebook world of self-consciously composed sentences with a brave new world of self-consciously composed and carefully filtered photographs.
On Instagram, every shot is a self-portrait. Herewith, a working guide to the ecosystem's most notorious types.
@ocugwu takes the road less queried.
With over 47 million users, a long-awaited recent expansion to Android and a big move to Facebookearlier this month, Instagram is spreading like dye through a Polaroid. If you haven't yet been lured by the photo-based social network, peer pressure to join its retro-glam ranks is only mounting. The app already contains multitudes—scores of pro-am photographers of all shapes, colors and creeds who have accepted its central promise: to replace a Twitter/Facebook world of self-consciously composed sentences with a brave new world of self-consciously composed and carefully filtered photographs.
On Instagram, every shot is a self-portrait. Herewith, a working guide to the ecosystem's most notorious types.
The Serial Vacationer
This person is always in Bali, or Bhutan or Costa Rica. It's not clear what they do for a living (Retired jewel thief? Road Rules location scout?), but it appears to involve swimming with dolphins and eating mangoes. Go-to captions: "Life's a beach" and "Another day in paradise!"
The Displaced MySpace Star
A master of mirror angles, this person has found a new canvas on which to paint their favorite subject. A staple of social networks since time immemorial.
The Photoshop Cheat
This person thinks Instagram is like Flickr but more frustrating. They are proficient in copyright protection, Adobe Lightroom 3 and making you feel inferior.
The Proud Mama
This person has the most adorable kitten/puppy/human baby/Sri Lankan Tarantula in the whole entire world. Would you like to see photos of him/her/it? Haha, just kidding. It doesn't matter whether you'd like to see them or not.
The Competitive Eater
This gourmand will make you take an early lunch break. Their photos chronicle adventures in indulgent dining— each meal bolder and more extravagant than the last. Personal heroes: Anthony Bourdain and Takeru Kobayashi.
The Mani/Pedi
This person just got a mani and/or pedi. Includes aspiring hand models and foot exhibitionists.
The Naturalist
This person would rather be in a field somewhere.
The Dessert Aficionado
A cousin of The Competitive Eater, this foodie has a sweet tooth and knows their way around an icing applicator. Gmail password: tiramisu.
The Filter Abuser
This person would put a filter on their own mother. The worse the photo, the heavier the filter. Pro tip: a shitty photo with a sepia tone and faux depth-of-field looks an awful lot like a shitty photo with a sepia tone and faux depth-of-field.
Previously on UnGoogleable: A Conversation With Robin Sloan
