The 25 Greatest Snack Cookies of All Time

Forget about Big Bird. The Cookie Monster was the realest character on Sesame Street—that is, until the writers punked out of his all-cookie-everything diet, and forced him to eat vegetables. Before his sweet tooth was condemned, he had one of the greatest life philosphies of all time: "Get Cookies."

Sometimes it's not just about the money, hoes, cars, and clothes. Sometimes you have to submit to your basic, animalistic urge to consume sugary snacks. To help you in this quest we ranked the greatest snack cookies of all time. From Girl Scout cookies to Milanos and pretty much anything that comes out of the Nabisco factory in plastic wrapping in between, this list has 'em all. Get ready for those elementary school throwbacks (word to Linden Cookies) and, hell, maybe even rediscover some old favorites. Get your wallet ready, cause you'll be headed to the grocery store after one look at this list. Happy munching!

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Maker: Nabisco

Don't fake. You know you still make the lion and the monkey fight when no one is looking. At least make it an even match up, though. Simba never stood a chance.

Maker: Kellogg

Put Us Weekly back on the rack. This is the only celebrity you should care about. Famous Amos is a #cookieinfluencer; respect that.

Maker: Nabisco

These cookies are a true American classic. And when you're too lazy or not white enough to go camping, the cookies pass no judgement when you make your s'mores over the stove.

Maker: Nabisco

We always felt bad for the kid in school with peanut allergies, and Nutter Butter's existence is the main reason why. Load up your Epipen, and dig in, kid. Take life by the reigns. (Please, don't actually do this.)

Maker: Linden

Remember trading this at the lunch table for Suzy's broccoli? No, you don't. Because nothing was worth this crisp, crunchy chocolatey goodness. Especially not your dumb broccoli, Suzy. Just take your green and move to another table. Beat it.

Maker: Pepperidge Farm

A cookie for the grown and sexy. Dark chocolate is a refined (read: bitter) chocolate, and this cookie is the perfect showcase for it. Turn on the slow jams, pour that Moscato, and dig in.

Maker: Keebler

Jordan and Pippin. Ye and Jay. Kobe Bryant and the Lakers. Some duos are classics. Just like cookies and cream. And in oval form? No problems here.

Maker: Nabisco

Nabisco got tired of killing the cookie game and decided to switch it up, blessing the world with Fig Newtons, a confused treat that doesn't know if it wants to be a cookie or a pastry. Luckily, the identity crisis becomes irrelevant when Fig Newtons soft exterior makes contact with your mouth. We love you no matter how you classify yourself, Fig Newton. Open arms and acceptance.

Maker: Betty Crocker

OK, OK, stop yelling, we know it's the icing that makes this cookie great. In fact, most of the time, the cookies get passed over, and you find yourself fingers deep in that icing tray with no shame at all. Well, stop that. This impeccable cookie-icing combo is not meant to be messed with. It is called DUNKaroo for a reason. So, please, stop licking your fingers. It's making us uncomfortable.

Maker: Nabisco

Cookie Theory 101: Nilla is short for Vanilla. Vanilla is white. White is a code word for crack. Crack is mixed into Nilla Wafers*, which is why it's impossible to just eat one. Go ahead and try. We won't judge when your hand slides back into the box, it's the wafer's fault, not yours.

*Disclaimer: There is no illicit drugs in Nilla Wafer. This is just an extended metaphor, asshole.

Maker: Trader Joe's

The name is working a little too hard, but don't be fooled, there are not ordinary cookies. Nuke these in the microwave for a couple seconds and your mouth will thank you. Or at least, thank us, since we gave you the idea, you ungrateful piece of...

Maker: Nabisco

If you've ever lied about your born day to get a free slice cake at a restaurant this cookie is for you. Because, honestly, it would be rude for you to wait to buy these on your birthday. It's only one day a year! What would happen to the Oreo empire if you abstained like that? Without your loyal support, Oreos might cease to exist, Nabisco would crumble, and people would surely riot, Beyoncé would lose her voice and the world would end. Is that what you want? We didn't think so. Now, throw that box onto the conveyer belt with pride—you just saved the world, and now you can reap the sweet rewards. And it's not even your birthday.

Maker: Keebler

Peep that chocolate stripe doe. And grandpa elf with that sexy red hat and welcoming wave. Bet you wanna taste. Pause.

Maker: Nabisco

This cookie is for when your wallet is a little fatter because your parents paid your rent this month. Slide on your top hat and break out your pimp cane, good sir. If you're eating one of these, you know you're ballin.

Maker: Nabisco

Honey, chocolate, or cinnamon; how do you pick a winner among champions? Luckily, almost every iteration of this tiny bear-shaped cookie tastes like sunshine and Saturday morning cartoons. But, if you want to keep it simple and classic, opt for the honey.

Maker: Pepperidge Farm

The Eminem of cookies. White on the outside, but black on the inside, it's incredibly easy to lose yourself (see what we did there?) in a bag of Milano's.

Maker: Keebler

The elves upped their cookie game and ruined your (very loose) grip on your summer body. Now that the days are growing shorter and it's time to bulk up like a bear, these candy-studded cookies are here to help you make the hibernation process complete.

Maker: Girl Scouts of the USA

That bruise you have on your knee from tripping down the stairs at a full sprint? Blame Thin Mints. Because when those Girl Scouts come a-knockin, everything in the way is an obstacle to your joy. Embrace those bruises; they are war wounds that prove your aggresive pursuit of happiness.

Maker: Nabisco

There is a theory out there that the name Oreo came the french word "or," or gold. And, in Oreo's early days, it was packaged in a gold tin. Now eat a Golden Oreo and mull over those facts while your mouth goes on a beautiful journey of pure golden joy.

Maker: Nabisco

With this twist on the classic chocochip cookie, Nabisco continues to slay every other cookie peddler out there. When your jaw is tired from regular Chips Ahoy, Chewy steps in to save the day.

Maker: Nabisco

Absence makes the heart grow hungrier. These pre-assembled s'mores are only available seasonally to avoid them melting on the shelves in the summer heat. So, right around the time you remove your A.C. from your window, Mallomars will emerge once again. Shoutout to the people stocking up in early spring. Ignore the confused cashier. Buying as many boxes as your salary allows is not ridiculous; it's a sign of forward-thinking. Go on young innovator, we salute you.

Maker: Nabisco

The exclamation point on the box is right. Every time you take a bite of these, your teeth get hype and your taste buds start twerking. #turnup

Maker: Girl Scouts of the USA

Yet another gem from those pig-tailed cookie pushers, Samoas are a standout with their chewy, chocolate and caramel deliciousness. There should be a badge for people who actually eat the serving size. We've never been able to pull it off.

Maker: Nabisco

We're pretty sure these cookies are intended for sharing with friends. But we were also pretty sure Miley Cyrus would turn out OK, and look what happened there. So, go ahead make this a party of two: you and a big 'ol box of these soft-baked delights. Pro tip: If you hit cardboard, you should probably stop chewing.

Maker: Nabisco

There are a few perfect things in this world: love, Beyoncé, and Oreos.

According to the songs, you can't buy love, but luckily for you, Oreos are available at every grocery store and bodega in the nation. Often imitated but never duplicated (we see you, Droxies) much like King B, Oreos are the perfect cookie. Grab some milk and get your life started.

*Note: We chose Double Stuff Oreos over regular Oreos, because why settle? There's more cream filling out there, and you shouldn't be shy about seizing it.