Image via Complex Original
Spend enough time with someone and chances are you’ll form a bond. Given the amount of time some players spend with Diablo III, the game’s protagonists—the Barbarian, Demon Hunter, Monk, Witch Doctor, and Wizard—are probably their best friends by now.
But what kinds of friends are they? Would you bring them home to meet your parents? Would you phone them in the middle of the night? Would you trust them in a brawl?
These characters have personalities and backstories, meticulously crafted by their creators at Blizzard to provide context and motivations for their actions throughout the game. They’re warriors, priests, brothers, daughters, parents, and lovers—but are they friends?
The Barbarian
The friend you can depend on
The Barbarian spends his days patrolling his ancient homeland, honoring the ways of his ancestors and stoically spurning the advancements and conveniences of modern life. He would never turn his back on his land or his predecessors, and he’s always there, watching, listening, and guarding. He’s a rock.
He’s the friend you can always depend on. He stuck with the Dodgers all through the ’90s, and he’ll stick with you just the same. Whether you need a shoulder to cry on, a partner in crime, or just a helping hand when misfortune strikes, you can rely on the Barbarian.
The Demon Hunter
The friend who always has your back in a fight
The Demon Hunter may not be your favorite person in the world, but when it comes to getting scrappy, there’s no one you'd rather have watching your back.
Her entire world is built on avenging those who have been wronged. Her life before the demons was shattered and destroyed, replaced by a burning need to defend the weak and demolish evil. Of course, evil to her includes when someone knocks over your drink—and it’s times like those you wish the Monk was around to calm everybody down.
The Monk
The cool-headed friend who keeps you out of trouble
Whenever you’re in over your head, whenever you’re about to get yourself into trouble, whenever you’re thinking of doing something stupid—the Monk is there to keep your feet on the ground.
Cool-headed, reliable, and quick-thinking, the Monk is an expert at mollifying those who would tear one another’s throats out and calming heated situations. She’s helped you avoid bar fights and nights in jail, even when it meant sticking her own neck out—or busting a few heads of her own.
And that calming demeanor comes in handy pretty often, considering the company you tend to keep.
The Witch Doctor
The friend who’s into all that weird New Age stuff
We all have one friend who’s a little too into her “spiritual side.” She doesn’t try to get you to go to church every Sunday, but she does try to drag you to vegan oxygen bars and weekly hot yoga sessions.
The Witch Doctor takes herbal supplements instead of aspirin, and her ring tone is that “Aquarius” song by The 5th Dimension (you know, the credits song from The 40-Year-Old Virgin). There are beads hanging everywhere in her apartment, and it always smells like incense—even when she’s not burning any, which isn’t often.
Of course, when you get sick of the Witch Doctor’s holistic malarkey you can always call the Wizard…
The Wizard
The friend who always gets you into trouble
The Wizard is a good friend, but he never knows when enough is enough. He’s filled with righteous ambition, and he’s an adrenaline junky, to boot.
His studies at the arcane university couldn’t sate his hunger for knowledge, and he dabbles in perilous forbidden arts. He’s always looking for his next high: fast cars, skydiving, rock climbing, fight clubs, summoning familiars—you name it.
A trip to Vegas with the Wizard is either the best or worst idea ever, but at least you can be sure that the parts you remember will be—well, memorable. Just make sure to bring the other four along so you’re prepared for whatever shenanigans might arise.
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Friends who are dependable, friends who have your back, friends who keep you out of trouble, friends who get you into trouble, friends who help you expand your horizons—we all have these types of friends. We hate them, we love them, we want to name our children after them or beat their faces bloody—it’s all part of life. No matter where you’re at, though, there should always be time to get together and play some Diablo III, especially now that it’s out on consoles with four-player co-op. Just make sure you all get to pick your favorite class.
