The 15 Most Ratchet Cities in the U.S.

The word "ratchet" has invaded popular culture over the past few years, being used ad nauseam to describe reckless behavior. Though many use (and abuse) the word, few know its origins. It began with a song and dance, which can be traced back to Shreveport, La. and Lava House's Lil Boosie-assisted "Do Da Ratchet." Now the term has been perverted, synonymous with all things MediaTakeOut and WorldStarHipHop-related.

The year 2012 should've been the D.O.R., or rather the "Death of Ratchet," but, inexplicably, the word is still alive and kicking. People won't let it go because they see and hear it everyday, sometimes even spoken aloud. As much as we hate to use the word, it's an easy way to communicate the facepalm-worthy calibur of certain actions, people, and, yes, even cities.

Before we retire the word, we decided to highlight some American cities where ratchet is a way of life. Admittedly arbitrary categories such as registered meth labs, strip club frequency, and the most ridiculously drunk individuals may not be an accurate way to assess a city on the whole, but are wildly telling when it comes to deciphering just how ratchet a city is. It's with tongue pressed firmly in cheek that we present the 15 most ratchet cities in the U.S.

Let's go out with a final chuckle before we bury the ratchet.

Written by Julian Kimble (@JRK316)

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Drunkard of the year: Man who rear-ended a New Jersey State Police cruiser
Registered meth labs: 0
Total strip clubs: 0
Most ratchet moment of 2013 (so far): Man attending Toby Keith concert puts on obscene display, including racial slurs and Confederate flag waving
Number if IHOPs: 0

Some have jokingly called Camden the "new Detroit," and it's a crown of thorns that unfortunately may fit. Due to its size, Camden's crime rate is higher than Newark's, and, to make matters worse, it was forced to dramatically reduce its police force last year to free up money. Gov. Chris Christie said this was also done to increase police presence on the streets of Camden, an idea that seems just a little bit flawed. Its close proximity to Philadelphia gives residents access to its nightlife (i.e. more strip clubs), and crime flows freely between the two cities thanks to the Walt Whitman Bridge.

At least it still has the Adventure Aquarium.

Drunkard of the year: Craig Sager, hands down
Registered meth labs: 3
Total strip clubs: 7
Most ratchet moment of 2013 (so far): Cop accidentally shoots suspect during arrest
Number of IHOPs: 1

The former home of the four largest breweries in the world and the one-time top beer-producing city in the world loves its liquor—there's no doubt about that (Milwaukee Brewers...get it?). And, apparently, so do its visitors. In April, TNT sideline reporter Craig Sager took a break from trolling the world with his terribly unstylish style to pass out drunk amidst several college students during the first round of 2013 NBA Playoffs. You can tell he's plastered by how wonked-out his eye is, but at least he was a good sport about it all. Milwaukee'll do that to you.

On a more violent tip, last year police chief Edward A. Flynn said that 85 percent of shooting victims and suspects in the city have "extensive" criminal records. This nearly became a prophecy when a man chasing after an 18-year-old burglary suspect opened fire on the teen. Both men were arrested, and that's Milwaukee in a nutshell.

Drunkard of the year: Man arrested for DUI after assaulting girlfriend
Registered meth labs: 97
Total strip clubs: 1
Most ratchet moment of 2013 (so far): Three arrested for cooking and exposing kids to meth
Number of IHOPs: 1

You have to travel to West Virginia to understand the ugly underbelly of the South. Better yet, don't. Maybe you've heard of Charleston, West Virginia. It's the state capital and largest city in the state. You may also remember the city of Charleston from MTV's short-lived series Buckwild (RIP Shain Gandee). What you may or may not know is that meth is pretty popular here. In June, three adults were arrested for cooking meth at an apartment where children as young as 4 months old were inside. Way to set an example, folks.

Drunkard of the year: Man arrested for operating a boat while intoxicated
Registered meth labs: 228
Total strip clubs: 3
Most ratchet moment of 2013 (so far): Man caught with 22 bags of heroin after trying to flee police on bike
Number of IHOPs: 0

Let's take a moment to deflect some attention from Detroit and its current financial crisis, because that's not even ratchet, it's just sad. Both Detroit and Flint have their issues with violent crime, but let's discuss Kalamazoo and its little meth lab problem. There was a well-documented meth lab explosion last July that damaged an apartment and sent two men to the hospital for burns. In other weird Kalamazoo-related news, a man was arrested in April with 22 bags of heroin on him after he tried to flee from cops—on a bike. Police had to go off-road to catch him, because the X-Games asshole refused to go down easily. It's that Midwest determination. Oddly enough, there aren't any IHOPs in the immediate area, which makes the area less ratchet and considerably more sad. Where do people go for late night meals and brawls before returning home to cook meth?

As you pray for Detroit, pray for the state of Michigan as a whole.

Drunkard of the year: Man blows stop sign, crashes straight into home
Registered meth labs: 7
Total strip clubs: 7
Most ratchet moment of 2013 (so far): Four people arrested after meth lab discovered in South Nashville home; one of the suspects looks like the Octomom
Number of IHOPs: 3

Nashville is the state capital of Tennessee and the home of country music. The Ryman Auditorium, Belcourt Theatre and Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum are located here. The Country Music Television Network is also headquartered in Nashville, just in case you didn't grasp how important the genre is to the city. However, as a city, Nashville has a problem with DUIs. Like, a leading the nation in DUI arrests last year type of problem. Over a dozen people were arrested for DUI between Christmas Eve and Christmas last year, because a nice, shiny DUI is what every adult wants for Christmas. Straight out of Cashville and straight into the slammer on a DUI arrest.

On a semi-lighter note, someone was arrested for breaking into Taylor Swift's Green Hills Home at the end of last year. Why hasn't she written a song about this yet? If she has, let us know. We'd play the shit out of that song.

Drunkard of the year: Man driving with suspended license gets seventh DUI
Registered meth labs: 7
Total number of strip clubs: 1
Most ratchet moment of 2013 (so far): Meth lab explosion damages apartment building
Number of IHOPs: 0

Once again, we don't want to kick Detroit while it's down (and it's in the sewer right now), but we can talk for a moment about Flint and its issues. Widely recognized as one of—if not the most—dangerous cities in the country, Flint ain't your family-friendly vacation destination. Hell, there isn't even an IHOP within city limits. Detroit might have have more crimes, but it's also roughly sevem times as large as Flint; Flint's size is why it's violent crime rate is so high. Every now and then, there's a non-violent crime that sticks out, like that early morning meth lab explosion. Or the morning discovery of a meth lab in a Flint Township hotel back in February.

We don't mean to pick on Flint; it's already been christened "Murdertown, USA," and it's not a game out there. Hopefully it will fall out of that top spot on the all of these "most dangerous cities" lists, but until the figurative rain cloud that hovers above the city finally moves elsewhere, Flint is an unfortunate destination on the ratchet map.

Drunkard of the year: Man sentenced to five years in prison after getting sixth DUI
Registered meth labs: 321
Total strip clubs: 5
Most ratchet moment of 2013 (so far): University of Akron's starting point guard during basketball season
Number of IHOPs: 1

Akron, Ohio is the state's fifth largest city, the rubber capital of the world, and the hometown of LeBron James. It's also struggling with a seemingly non-stop wave of meth labs that continually crop up. Akron is currently on pace to set a record for the number of meth labs discovered this year (Summit County, stand up), as the Akron Police Department had responded to calls regarding over 80 by the end of April—an increase of 12 over the same period the previous year. During one four day stretch in April, 11 labs were discovered. Not much has changed since back in the day when Hells Angels members use to get in Ohio, i.e. sling drugs out of their favorite local bars.

No wonder LeBron was so happy to get the fuck out of Ohio.

Drunkard of the year: Two sisters arrested for DUI at the same time
Registered meth labs: 1
Total strip clubs: 25
Most ratchet moment of 2013 (so far): Prostitutes beat an innocent woman down after mistaking her for a rival
Number of IHOPs: 6

As a whole, Florida might be the most twisted state in the U.S. Sure, the Heat won their second straight NBA Championship in June, but shit is far from sweet in Miami. First off, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration predicts that rising sea levels will turn the city into a new underwater treasure within the next 100 years. It's also the leading location for ATF sting operations, where undercover agents dupe criminals into hatching detailed plans to rob non-existant stash houses before arresting them. The city can thank the Cocaine Cowboys days when Griselda Blanco had almost everyone shook for establishing this history of violence. If none of that concerns you, how about Miami becoming the first city to be charged with fraud by the SEC for lying about its financial state? Amazingly, this was the second time the city has been reprimanded for similar activities in the past decade.

Last year, the Miami Police Department made 724 arrests for DUI and 479 for prostitution, per the Florida Department of Law Enforcement. But who cares about appropriate behavior and good taste when you can make the simple journey to South Beach or go to Art Basel? At least, that's what visitors tell themselves.

Drunkard of the year: Reese Witherspoon's husband, even though she stole the show
Registered meth labs: 2
Total strip clubs: 29
Most ratchet moment of 2013 (so far): Mother tased by mall cop
Number of IHOPs: 4

For a second, forget about anything you may have witnessed with your own eyes or heard about on Love & Hip-Hop Atlanta. Alright, now that you've been spiritually cleansed, know that Atlanta is far more than your wildest imaginings. Virtually rebuilt following the Civil War, Atlanta is home to the headquarters of CNN, TBS, and The Weather Channel, Little Five Points and the Martin Luther King, Jr. National Historic Site. Despite all of this honor, all of this prestige, Atlanta is an undebiably ratchet petri dish. Earlier this year, one gent's face was used as an eraser after he allegedly shot a cop who was investigating drug activity in his Southwest Atlanta neighborhood in the face.

Strip clubs are as abundant and fruitful as mega churches are in Atlanta; they're places where people go just to kick it, not just for the sole purpose of ogling T&A, though plenty of that surely happens. Hitting the strip club in Atlanta is just like hitting the club. On a positive note, Atlanta is home to dedicated service industry workers, i.e. pizza delivery men who will still deliver your pizza, even after being carjacked.

So even though there's more to Atlanta than the ratchet culture you see on TV and WorldStarHipHop, that culture is still very present. Be like activist Michaela Angela Davis, Atlanta. Bury the ratchet. And, please, watch how you talk to security guards at the mall.

Drunkard of the year: Woman flees police, gets third DUI arrest after argument with boyfriend
Registered meth labs: 1
Total strip clubs: 5
Most ratchet moment of 2013 (so far): Illegal handgun and $7,000 worth of weed and crack uncovered in drug bust
Number of IHOPs: 3

It may be a great city for fans of rap music, but Baton Rouge's violent crime rate has made national headlines in recent years. In fact, crime has been such an issue in the city, that it has forced businesses to think long and hard about moving there, which is horrible for the city's economy. Furthermore, Baton Rouge has roughly 800 homeless residents, and the city's Metro Council-approved Homeless Outreach Prevention Efforts (HOPE) method of handling the issue was to shuttle them out of town. After establishing that they had jobs or family elsewhere, they just shipped them off. Call it what you what, but this seems more like moving the problem elsewhere rather than solving it.

This is the same place that birthed the tragically uncouth Webbie and Lil Boosie, whose release from Angola State Prison has been anticipated since he was acquitted of murder charges following a 2010 indictment. As Boosie reminded us, we all have some ratchet in us, and he picked his up in Baton Rouge.

Drunkard of the year: Retired deputy police chief arrested for DUI and battery
Registered meth labs: 92
Total strip clubs: 43
Most ratchet moment of 2013 (so far): Hangover-inspired lawyer causes $100,000 worth of damage to hotel suite
Number of IHOPs: 13

It's called Sin City for a reason. You can't walk down the Las Vegas strip without stepping on a slew of flyers promoting various kinds of smut. Amidst the filth are costumed panhandlers who endure the heat and occasional abuse from tourists to "work" long hours to bring home meager-to-respectable amounts of money; it's a semi-honest contrast to the smut (if there is one at all).

Then, of course, there are the strip clubs. You throw a rock in Vegas and you're bound to hit a strip club door. When L.A. feels too clean (imagine that?), thrill seekers make that road trip to Vegas for weekends filled with unspeakable debauchery, and that covers everything from the finest of strip clubs to the other industry quietly keeping Vegas in business: prostitution. The oldest hustle is legal in some of Nevada's counties (shoutout to Dennis Hof and the Moonlite Bunny Ranch), but not Clark County, where Las Vegas is located. Still, prostitution is practiced in Las Vegas, because what fun would life be if people actually followed the law? Unfortunately, not everyone that visits Vegas is aware of this, thus leading to embarrassing arrests. On a disturbing note, a lot of girls working the streets of Las Vegas are literally girls—there's a market for teenage prostitutes, which is just vile. Granted Vegas isn't Sodom and Gomorrah, but it's earned it's nickname. Regardless, people love it.

Oh, and then there's Erin Brockovich. For all of the good she's done, she was busted for drunk boating in Lake Mead near Vegas last month. We all fuck up from time to time, right?

Drunkard of the year: Oakland Raiders wide receiver Jacoby Ford, even though he ducked DUI charges following March arrest
Registered meth labs: 1
Total strip clubs: 1
Most ratchet moment of 2013 (so Far): A man not wanted for anything was on the Oakland Police Department's Most Wanted list for months
Number of IHOPs: 0

Oakland may not be the scourge of the U.S. due to a healthy art scene, but it was ratchet before ratchet entered the general public's lexicon. Then again, this is the same city that produced Too Short years ago and the White Girl Mob recently. (They really embrace the concept of ratchet in the Bay; it's scary.) Bay Area residents are proud, but that doesn't excuse the fuckery that constantly emerges from the city of Oakland. Law enforcement complications got so bad earlier this year that newly appointed police chief Anthony Toribio stepped down after a two grueling days on the job. Previously the deputy police chief, Toribio filled the vacany left by former police chief Howard Jordan-for as long as he could stomach it. That turned out to be all of 48 hours. Law enforcement in the city are either too inept or overmatched to deal with crime, but then again, when you have double murders occurring at Wingstop, it puts things in perspective.

Somewhere along the line, Oakland jumped the hyphy shark and graduated to full-on ratchet. The end of that downward spiral was a sad, sad day.

Drunkard of the year: Man driving similar car as armed robbery suspects arrested for DUI
Registered meth labs: 891
Total strip clubs: 10
Most ratchet moment of 2013 (so far): Man arrested for pointing "finger guns" at neighbors
Number of IHOPs: 3

You can't travel the "meth belt" without hitting Tulsa. In Tulsa County, 979 meth sites have been discovered since 2004—two times more than any other county in the country. Guess where the bulk of them have been found? Yup—Tulsa.

Some Tulsa residents apply the "anytime, anyplace" principle when cooking meth, meaning they'll chef it up in Walmart if struck by the urge. Tulsa police thought the meth problem had been solved about 6 years ago; this was a few years after the state of Oklahoma passed a bill to control the sale of pseudoephedrine (a key meth ingredient) placing it behind counters at pharmacies and forcing buyers to provide identification to purchase it. By 2011, meth lab discoveries were on the incline again thanks to the "shake 'n' bake" meth phenomenon, which is extrelemy dangerous, but do you really expect meth producers or users to care about ill consequences?

The number of meth labs discovered between 2011 and 2012 dropped significantly, which means there could be a light at the end of this crystalized tunnel for Tulsa. Then again, there's always an alleged international aircraft maintenance bribery scandal to remind everyone how far Tulsa is from decency.

Drunkard of the year: Police lieutenant arrested for suspicion of DWI
Registered meth labs: 36
Total strip clubs: 3
Most ratchet moment of 2013 (so far): Two arrested for shooting at cops
Number of IHOPs: 4

St. Louis has a troubled relationship with food. Dinnertime stabbings during during pork chop debates and heated arguments over a bag of Cheetos that end in fatalites reinforce St. Louis' position in the bottom half of the American Fitness Index, because people seem to have no problem killing for snacks.

Also consider the tense relations between restaurant servers and customers. Earlier this year, the stink that a pastor made about having to pay the 18 percent gratuity on an Applebee's tab led to a server getting fired. The pastor actually had the audacity to write "I give God 10%-why do you get 18?" on the receipt. We guess that if God had wanted her to pay that 18 percent, God would have inspired her to do so. On the flipside, a server at another bar and restaurant forgot to delete the line on a man's bill for "1 FUCKIN NEEDY KIDS." This came after the man went the extra mile to ensure that his young son could join him for a Father's Day meal.

There's a lesson in class that a lot of these St. Lunatics missed growing up. Unfortunately, it's probably too late to right these wrongs. Then again, one local news station just discovered the hipster scene, so maybe those coffee shop-visitng, record store-loving mid-day dance party aficionados can usher in some hope and save St. Louis' soul. Probably not, though.

Drunkard of the year: Man with PCP in his sock crashes into bodega
Registered meth labs: 3
Total strip clubs: 19
Most ratchet moment of 2013 (so far): "Weed Man" fought "Beer Man"; Alien and Predator were interviewed as witnesses
Number of IHOPs: 5

New York City. Some would argue that it's the greatest city in the world, and many more would argue that it's among the ratchet elite based on size alone. The IHOP's need bouncers. One of mayoral candidates, who we'll just call "Carlos Danger" for the moment, is still answering questions about a two-year old sex scandal. A place where restaurants scramble to hide their poor grades like frightened teenagers. Where a deranged pervert who goes by the name of "Adam Sandler" (not the real, Happy Gilmore Adam Sandler) can get arrested for screaming anti-Semitic vitriol in Central Park and Times Square, as well as allegedly try to milk the Girl Scouts for $2 million. It's a city of dreams and nightmares, and as you strive to be whatever will make your heart smile (and inevitably fail in the process), you'll witness things that will scar you for life. The most you can hope for is to become numb to it all.

You'll complain about how much the city frustrates you while you're there, you'll complain about how much better it is than every other city, and you'll laugh at the subway atrocities in other cities because a man masturbating to completion on your train won't interrupt your commute. You've seen it all; you're the single composed person amid a sea of ratchetness, and you'll likely drown.