10 Exclusive Places In New Orleans You'll Never Get Into

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Address: 824 Canal St.

The first rule of The Boston Club is you don’t talk about The Boston Club. The second rule of The Boston Club is good luck trying to get in the door. Founded by a fancy group of guys intent on making their games of Boston (a popular card game that was introduced in the 18th century) a more private affair in 1841, The Boston Club is the country’s third oldest gentleman’s club (and we do mean “gentleman’s club” literally—not as a colloquialism). Which makes it one of the most difficult to penetrate or learn much of anything about except the location of the stately home where its members congregate. Yeah, there’s a whole lot of Skull & Bones type secrecy happening in this town.

Address: 115 St. Charles Ave.

Not quite as old as The Boston Club (it was founded in 1857) but just as prestigious, the goings-on at The Pickwick Club aren’t shrouded in as much secrecy. It has, after all, hosted one of the city’s most anticipated debutante balls (if you’re into that kind of stuff) for more than 60 years. But just because the group emphasizes the “social” part of its social club a bit more doesn’t make it any less insular. The fact is, the closest you’ll likely ever get to seeing the carved figure of Mr. Pickwick who greets all ye merry members who enter the door (the club was named for Charles Dickens’ first novel, The Posthumous Papers of the Pickwick Club) is in the pictures posted in the local media following the introduction of the latest coterie of debs. (Though we hear they make a mean grillades and grits, we can alas only imagine what that tastes like.)

Address: Varies

You don’t have to have been born with a silver spoon in order to chow down at this two-year-old, invite-only supper club (they call it a “membership-based social dining experiment”). But good luck trying to score a seat at this table, where up-and-coming chefs prepare an anything-goes five-course meal—alcohol included—in locations throughout the city (it could be Cuban food in a 19th-century Methodist church one night and Chilean specialties on the rooftop of an abandoned building another). With membership capped at 1,000 and buzz for these semi-weekly dinners at an all-time high, you’d better be prepared to add your name to the waiting list for membership and then wait… and wait and wait. If you do score a membership, you’d better be ready to hang with an experimental group of diners who don’t shy away from dishes that others might be afraid to try (live snakes were once used to prepare a cocktail at a Vietnamese-themed dinner). But here’s the good news: the group has recently expanded its dinners outside of New Orleans, and some of those cities (including Los Angeles and Miami) do have openings. So, well, there’s that.

Address: 105 North Roadway

If you’ve ever felt the desire to make a fashion statement with a pair of boat shoes, skipper’s cap, and navy blue crewneck sweater draped casually over your shoulders, the Southern Yacht Club is one of the few places where you won’t be laughed out the door. If only you could get in the door… Since 1879, this haven of sailors (which has produced a number of Olympians) has been part of the skyline in New Orleans’ West End, a beacon on the shores of Lake Pontchartrain, beckoning to those lucky few who were born with a love of water in their veins and a tint of blue in their blood. At 164 years old, it’s the country’s second oldest yacht clubs (only the fancy-schmancy New York Yacht Club has got it beat). In addition to an annual regatta, a gym, swimming pool, waterfront dining room, and clubhouse are some of the venue’s main attractions.

Address: 5024 Pontchartrain Blvd.

Not to be confused with The Country Club, a come-as-you-are bar, restaurant, lounge, and pool in the city’s Bywater neighborhood, the New Orleans Country club is your typical members-only club kind of affair, offering well-to-do residents a perfectly maintained golf course, tennis courts, swimming pool, dining room, and clubhouse for socializing for nearly 100 years. So basically Caddyshack without the gophers, Baby Ruths, or Rodney Dangerfield.

Address: 580 Woodvine Ave.

Less exclusive than the New Orleans Country Club, but discerning of its patrons nonetheless, the 91-year-old Metairie Country Club—which is almost adjacent to its country club competitor above—has prided itself on offering what it calls an atmosphere of “gracious relaxation.” Well, gracious if you’re a member that is. A robust calendar of social events happens at and around the club’s tennis courts, swimming pools (plural—there are three of ‘em), fitness center, and restaurants. But the truly unique gem here is the golf course itself, which took three years to construct, as each hole is a replica of famous golf holes of at other clubs in the U.S. and Scotland. Unfortunately for you, the chances of seeing the handiwork of famed golf course architect Seth Raynor up close are highly unlikely.

Address: 1500 Poydras St.

Exclusivity is one of the key selling points for purchasing a luxury suite at the swankily renamed Mercedes-Benz Superdome. There are, after all, only 152 of them—located on the 300 and 400 levels. All of them area decked out with sleek leather furniture and plasma TVs. They’re fully catered too, with eats served up in the suite’s kitchen area, complete with granite countertops and teak wood cabinets. Reserved parking means you won’t wait in a traffic line with the rest of the schnooks. The biggest decision is whether you want to kick back on the 300 level (which are more intimate) or the 400 level (which feature private restrooms). Oh, there’s also that small matter of cozying up to one of the suite’s private owners, as that’s the only way to plant yourself in this plush seating option.

Address: 5353 Laurel St.

First things first: if you’re not aware that “lawn tennis” is the name under which the sport of tennis itself originated (back in England, in the late 19th century), then you have no business wanting to join in all the backhanded action at this historic tennis club. But even if you can name the exact date and birthplace of the game’s founding, plus every Olympian to ever win a gold medal in the sport, it still won’t be enough to impress the membership powers-that-be that you do indeed deserve to be a part of the nation’s oldest (and one of its most prestigious) tennis clubs.

Address: 722 N Broad St.

When it comes to the Zulu Social Aid and Pleasure Club, the 104-year-old Mardi Gras krewe over which Louis Armstrong once presided as king, there’s good news and bad news. Let’s start with the former: of all the city’s krewes, Zulu likes to party the most. And as such, they host and take part in a ton of events around the city year-round, like an annual Black and White Party. The bad news? These events take place at venues other than the fun-filled members-only club. So while you may get the chance to rub elbows with the Zulu krewe, doing it on their home turf is a much taller order.

Address: 1140 Royal St.

Like Newport, Rhode Island, the ornate mansions of New Orleans are some of its most photo-worthy attractions—and each one seems to have a captivating story behind it. There’s Madame John’s Legacy in the French Quarter, one of the only homes to survive the Great Fire of 1795, which leveled most of the city’s dwellings; and 1850 House, an antebellum row house reconstructed and decorated in the style of mid-19th-century New Orleans (both of which can be toured through the Louisiana State Museum). But one of the city’s most legendary residences is the one that notorious socialite-turned-serial killer Delphine LaLaurie built, or at least lived in, and in which she tortured and murdered countless slaves. Following LaLaurie’s departure from the abode—which features such period details as iron grillwork, a carved door and black-and-white marble floors at the entrance and a mahogany-railed staircase—the home at one point has served as a public school, a music conservatory, a home for juvenile delinquents, and a luxury apartment building. It’s one of the world’s most famous haunted houses, but good luck getting a chance to get a peek inside at its history, because its now a privately owned home once again. If you were friends with alleged vampire Nicolas Cage, you may have gotten a chance to check it out after he purchased it specifically for “entertaining” purposes in 2007. But it was foreclosed on two years later, so not even being buddies with The Nic can help you get inside here today.