Step it Up: How to Take Your Office Holiday Party to the Next Level

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Just like real estate, one of the most important factors to a successful party is its location. Nobody is going to trek all the way to Bushwick for a warehouse party, where glow sticks are not optional, especially if you work in Midtown and most of your coworkers already have a significant other who worries. Pick the right restaurant for a low-key evening over surf and turf and cocktails, or rent the right bar that’s easy for most people to access. If the office party doesn’t have that kind of budget, at the very least throw up a decent amount of decorations around the cubicles. Flashing lights go a long way.

Face it, these people probably see you more often than your current fling, and definitely more than your family. They see every outfit you own. And guys, if white shirts and ties are your go-to, its guaranteed people notice that you wear your blue tie every Tuesday. Go shopping—this is an event, so treat it like it’s one. Buy a new outfit, then wait a few weeks and wear it to work.

Here’s a helpful hint to keep it from getting trashy: If you have a picture of your wife on your desk, bring your wife to the party. If you show up with another woman, it’s going to encourage talk, and it’s truly uncouth. Bring your significant other or bring no one. Don’t throw a surprise in there so that your coworkers have to figure out who she or he is—unless, of course, you inform others that you’re going to bring a buddy to the party, then no worries.

Finding the perfect amount of booze is tricky for an office party. If you bring too much then people embarrass themselves. Some will forever be known for dancing on their desks, losing their shoes, or passing out in the manager’s private bathroom. It’s even worse when there’s not enough booze. People will leave and talk about how cheap the hosts were, and nobody has fun. You have an adult job, so drink like an adult.

Unless your holiday party takes place at a restaurant, you’re going to need some food. You can’t have a room full of coworkers sipping on rosé all night without anything to eat. It’s irresponsible, because, well, who doesn’t like snacks? If you’re trying to be classy, which we suggest, get some crackers, some spiced Italian meats, and cheese. Go crazy.

If some of your coworkers seem a little distant from the party, head on over to them. Sit beside them. Serve them a drink, talk a bit, and insist on introducing them to someone else at the office party who is friendly and able to hold a conversation with just about anyone. Make sure that that person has as much fun as everyone else.

On the other hand, if someone is having too much fun, make sure they’re safe. Call them a cab, even if they argue with you. They’ll thank you come Monday morning for protecting them from becoming the joke of the party. Never hold this above them, though. Next year you might be the one having too much fun.

Keep in mind where you are. It’s a party, of course, but it’s an office party. Remember when your mom used to chastise you when you acted up at the grocery store by saying: “This is a place of business! Not a playground!” Well, always remember that, okay? If you’re going to work with these people for some time, you might want some recommendation letters in the end. This isn’t your local watering hole, where you get faded with your buddies; this is the office with Maureen, the mother of two, from accounting.

If movies from the ’90s taught us anything, it’s that there’s always going to be someone pushing a karaoke machine. You’re a bit tipsy, so you’re tempted to give your show-stopping rendition of “Don’t Stop Believin’” a go. No matter how confident you feel, don’t ever grab the microphone. Remember that everyone’s phone has video now. Bringing an acoustic guitar to the office party (or any party) and playing “Wonderwall” is also forbidden.

This may sound silly but it has become a vital charge of office parties for decades: Make sure you’re not the last to leave. As the night wears on, the office party will get weirder by the minute. So hop in a cab and be on your way home before anything truly bizarre happens, like when your cubicle mate feels like pants are too restrictive.