The Biggest "Oh Sh*t" Moments In "American Horror Story" (So Far)

Ryan Murphy wants to make you as uncomfortable as humanly possible. American Horror Story is only two seasons deep, and in that short time has already featured some of the most shocking, grossest, gruesome images and events in the history of television. What bodes well for the newest addition to the anthology, Coven (which premieres this Wednesday), is Murphy and co-creator Brad Falchuk are always looking to go farther.

Just when you think you've been desensitized enough, the duo and their team of talented writers (like Tim Minear) come through with something that makes you eat your words, and then barf them back up. Here are AHS's top I-can't-believe-that-just-happened moments—witnessed between the gaps of our fingers over our eyes—so far, of course. Bring on the witches.

Written by Frazier Tharpe (@The_SummerMan)

Episode: "Unholy Night"

It's a very American Horror Story Christmas! Which, in Ryan Murphy's gleefully deranged mind, means it's time for a visit from the most nightmarish perversion of Santa Claus imaginable. Played with over-the-top perfection by McShane, the teaser portion of "Unholy Night" is delightfully twisted and unsettling at the same time, as McShane's Leigh Emmerson manages to make almost every Saint Nick trope into a sick joke during a home invasion, so that by the time the credits roll it's hard to believe there's a whole episode of madness left to go.

Episode: "Nor'easter"

Did Asylum really need aliens amidst a storyline that already included serial killers, demons, possessed nuns and the like? Not really, and by season's end their presence is barely validated. But we literally did exclaim "Oh shit!" when Sister Jude, drunkenly stumbling through the Briarcliff hallways, turned a corner and randomly bumped into an extraterrestial casually chilling in the cut. Was it hiding from the storm or secretly watching The Sign of the Cross viewing with the rest of the patients? Just one of many AHS's plot threads left dangling, unfortunately.

Episode: Pilot

That line, uttered by Constance to Murder House maid Moira about halfway through the pilot, is perhaps the most tantalizing aspect of an episode that's already been filled to the brim with new storylines and foreshadowing. The exchange not only confirmed Constance as more than just a busy-body neighbor, but promised the season was going to explore the House's history, and that said history was indeed, very rich.

Episode: "Piggy Piggy"/"Smoldering Children"

The Murder House season ultimately made Tate the answer to too many of the pilot's most interesting questions, namely the identity of Rubber Man. But while many viewers guessed that he was indeed a ghost, the reveal in the excellent "Halloween Pt. 2" that his fantasies of shooting up his school actually happened was captivating, but that was telling not showing. Yet when the next episode opened with a chilling flashback to his attack, the horror was a little bit too real.

A few episodes later, we see Tate the morning of, railing lines next to a bed full of assault rifles, and learn he made a stop before his last day of school. Turns out Larry the Burn Guy got his makeover from the troubled teen, who wasn't very keen on Mom's new boyfriend.

Episode: "Murder House"

The Harmons moved across the country to escape Ben's infidelity, and who should follow them there but the personification of his worst nightmare: Hayden (Kate Mara), the other woman. True to the nature of the series, she's batshit crazy, desperate to start a life with Ben, revealing that she didn't go through with her abortion as they'd agreed to earlier.

We were mid-thought in wondering, "How the hell is he going to get out of this?" before Larry the Burn Guy delivered an answer, in the form of a shovel to Hayden's face. And then several more whacks for good measure. Of course, that was far from the last we'd see of her...

Episode: "Continuum"

Asylum's aliens may not have directly impacted much of the season's plot, but they did leave a lasting impression on the two characters they abducted: Alma and Grace, Kit's "wives." Post Briarcliff, Kit is living the dream in a Big Love scenario where both ladies are committed to him and they, and their kids, live as one big happy family in the countryside.

But there's an underlying tension. Alma is eager to move on with life almost as if the abduction never happened, whereas Grace is hungry for answers, constantly trying to stitch together memories of her time with "them."

When "Continuum" opens, we see a bloodied Kit holding an even bloodier axe, implying that he snapped. But we later learn that it's actually Alma who lost it, when she abruptly buries the hatchet into Grace's skull, the easier to get her to shut up about those damn alien kidnappers once and for all.

Episode: "I Am Anne Frank (Part 2)"

For much of Asylum, we're forced to endure Lana WInters' wrongful imprisonment, waiting for her to finally escape to freedom. When Dr. Oliver Thredson, seemingly the only authority figure at Briarcliff with all of his marbles intact, finally walks her out, it feels vindicating.

And also, at episode five out of 13, it feels too good to be true. It takes Lana just a few minutes at his house to realize she's sitting in a living room furnished by DIY Human Home Design because Oliver Thredson is indeed Bloody Face, the serial killer responsible for most of the season's madness. Out of the cuckoo's nest, and into the hell fire, Ms. Winters.

Episode: "Smoldering Children"

The best plot twists are those that work effectively even when the element of surprise is lost. In "Smoldering Children," Violet learns she actually died from an overdose she originally thought Tate rescued her from four episodes prior, but by that point most of the audience watching live had guessed that, given she'd gone a string of episodes without leaving the Murder House premises.

But Taissa Farmiga plays the realization so well that it's hard to write it off as something you saw coming miles away. Also, the sight of her rotting, maggot-ridden corpse didn't lack for added effect.

Episodes: "Nor'easter," "I Am Anne Frank (Parts 1 & 2)"

American Horror Story: Asylum is 13 episodes full of torment, darkness, and unimaginable suffering with barely any levity. Though she didn't make it past the halfway mark, Shelley, Briarcliff's resident nymphomaniac, may have arguably gotten the rawest deal. Her failed escape attempt lands her in the hands of the super creepy Dr. Arden, a character who only three episodes in made such a foreboding impression that we knew things weren't going to go well for her.

Nothing, however, could've prepared us for the jaw-dropping visual reveal of her strapped down on his operating table, legs needlessly amputated. And it only got worse from there. As the bizarre "Anne Frank" two-parter revealed Arden's heinous origins, his experimentation on Shelley only grew more monstrous. Cue the second jaw-drop, when she appears in his office horribly mutated almost beyond recognition, begging for death.

Episode: Pilot

Unfortunately nothing grand ever came of The Infantata—formerly known as Thaddeus—but its first appearance stands as the moment that hooked casual viewers into the show.

We'd later learn that it/he was the bloodthirsty reanimated, restitched corpse of original Murder House residents Dr. Charles and Nora Montgomery's infant son, but in the pilot, the basement-dwelling beast was the most interesting mystery in an episode full of a dozen different story threads.

Tate lures Leah, a girl bullying Violet, to the basement under the pretense of scaring her. What follows is a series of dimly lit, tight shots that confirm Tate is probably insane, but better yet, feature close-ups of Infantata's ghoulishly pale face and fangs. Leah never fucks with Violet again, and we were officially sold.

Episode: Pilot

By the time Vivien announces she's pregnant at the end of the pilot, the viewer has already seen more than enough to convince them to strap in for whatever wild ride Ryan Murphy is taking us on. But in debut episodes of serialized dramas such as this one, there's always that one moment, that twist that necessitates watching whatever comes next because you just have to see where the writers are going to go with a certain storyline.

That moment in American Horror Story's pilot is undoubtedly Vivien's pregnancy, because just moments before we saw her have sex with a guy she didn't know was not her husband, clad in a rubber gimp suit straight out of Pulp Fiction. In a house filled with ghosts, attic and basement monsters, and God knows what else, it was clear that very bad things were on the horizon, which was a very good thing for us.

Episode: "Madness Ends"

Both seasons of American Horror Story, while fun and entertaining, are wildly uneven. Most are of the opinion that Asylum is the stronger of the two though, and we're inclined to agree because of this supremely satisfying finale that validates most if not all of the season's journey, specifically that of Lana Winters.

The final three episodes of the season are building towards a grand confrontation between Winters, ostensibly the season's heroine who has earned a happy ending tenfold, and Johnny, the son by Bloody Face Thredson that she couldn't bring herself to abort, revealed to be a crack addict following in his father's footsteps in the present. "Madness Ends" ratchets up the suspense and anticipation as he lurks around her house, waiting for his moment to strike while she gives a Barbra Walters-esque interview, wrapping the season's many other developments up.

When he finally makes his approach, the moment isn't some last-minute scare or serving of gore that we've come to expect, but instead quietly powerful and devastating, featuring some of Dylan McDermott's finest acting. Initially it seems like there's no way Lana will end the season alive. Then Johnny's rage boils over into sorrow, implying Lana will successfully talk him down and maybe he'll end up in a place similar to the instituion she found herself trapped in for much of the season.

But nope, instead Lana decides to do what she couldn't decades ago, maternally disarming her own son so she can take his gun and end his suffering and hers once and for all. Here's hoping Coven can match that intensity, because, wow.