Image via Complex Original
After bringing you the 100 Thirstiest Comments on Instagram, as well as the 25 Thirstiest Comments on Kim Kardashian's Instagram, and even some of the thirst from Instagram Pictures of Joe Budden's Girlfriend, we can pretty much assure you one thing: The thirst has gotten worse.
We called Kim Kardashian the "queen of thirst trap" last month, but that was because we only just got a peek at the "TRAPSTAR" herself: Rihanna (sorry, Kim.) I mean, how can we forget the marijuana-smoking, bikini body-bearing, tattoo cleavage-exposing RiRi?
Some of Ms. Fenty's 700+ Instagram pictures have brought out more thirst than the Sudanese water crisis with the funny (and worst) bits of simp-ery and dehydration ever committed in a Instagram comment.
Seriously, fellas. Something's gotta give. And as long as you lonely dudes continue to pour your hearts out to women you'll never, ever meet, we can promise you that we'll keep documenting it. With that said, let's take a look at: The 25 Thirstiest Comments on Rihanna's Instagram.
Written by Anthony Osei (@ILLIONAIRE)
For even more thirst, check out Anthony Osei's Thirstiest Men of Instagram Tumblr.
You're Not That Deep, Bro
Thirst Offender: cashh_jones
We're writing poems now? Oh, OK. Didn't know Instagram had a Def Poetry button.
Asian Persuasion
Thirst Offender: pham202
Looks like Geisha Rihanna has already given you her answer.
Chow Down
Thirst Offender: trusnobitch
We don't even want to think about the other things you would offer to eat out of Rihanna.
Keep Calm, It's Rihanna
Thirst Offender: ch24rlie
And if that works, kudos to you.
Face Time
Thirst Offender: moeskyfly
Yeah, because asking a random girl to video chat always works, right? Connection attempt: Failed.
Wishful Thinking
Thirst Offender: ayokeyz
Dream on, playa.
Some Cut
Thirst Offender: kedoshikato
Good one. No need for the wink, though, we get it.
Ugh
Thirst Offender: tedbukowski
Um, what? That's just straight up disgusting, bro.
Meet Me at Starbucks
Thirst Offender: totallyawesomemetazine
Starbucks? That's where you want the platnum-selling, globe-trotting, baller-dating, Rihanna to meet you? Come on, fam.
Pucker Up
Thirst Offender: sykosyd
"Sykosyd"? This dude's user name makes perfect sense.
Birthday Cake
Thirst Offender: chr1scross
Too much, man. Too, too much.
Never Wife 'Em
Thirst Offender: mrmafioso
Hey, 'least he's being honest.
"Punch Me In The Face"
Thirst Offender: brianmckelvy
Real tears.
Crowd Surfing Thirsting
Thirst Offender: prince_of_the_dmv
Wait. Is this even considered "thirst" if he actually did it? Or is this some form of sexual assault?
Hold Up, Whoa There...
Thirst Offender: asvpxjamesy
All caps, and the willingness to eat out of RiRi's butt, affirms that this guy does not have one fuck to give.
Illuminati?
Thirst Offender: radical_ryan
We like that this guy is willing to renounce his hate for all things Illuminati in order to take down RiRi.
Jail Time
Thirst Offender: mikeybee14
If you're out here thirsting on Instagram, you're probably not built for jail. Just sayin'.
Daydreaming
Thirst Offender: 6nwyo
We're pretty sure that "Leave that boy alone" tank she's wearing applies to you, too, homie.
These Dudes Be Actin' Up
Thirst Offender: babyface_87
Confidence levels are as high as the thirst levels with this one.
Stalk Alert
Thirst Offender: _juanito
I think you call these kind of people stalkers. NBC needs to start a new show: To Catch a Thirst Offender.
Hood Star
Thirst Offender: mac_that_nigga
Surely she will "f**k" with you since you've indicated to Ms. Fenty that you are indeed from the hood and have a strong aversion to safe sex. Way to go, buddy, you must get all the ladies.
#RubYourFeet
Thirst Offender: moonwalkershawty
This guy's just a simp.
Not So "Sucka Free"
Thirst Offender: sosuckafree718
His screenname really contradicts his actions.
For the Needy
Thirst Offender: nortonjohn
Rihanna doesn't need anything but for you to put down your phone, have a seat, and drink a tall glass of water.
Rihanna's Chair
Thirst Offender: treizle
Out of all the things you could return to life as—a sports star, a famous musician, a genius entrepreneur, you know, someone that would actually have a chance at Rihanna in real life, you wish to come back as a chair? Dream bigger, homie.
