Donald Trump Says He'll Win the Latino Vote. Here Are 5 Ways He Can Make That Dream Come True

Donald Trump is high.

July 8, 2015

Not Available Lead — Image via Complex Original
Complex Original

What a guy Donald Trump is. What. A. Guy. He's here to distract us from the shit show we're in for once President Obama leaves office. After saying Mexico is sending drugs, crimes, and rapists to America—which resulted in him losing money from his Miss USA Pageant and getting dumped by NBC—he still believes he can win the Latino vote should he get the GOP nomination. In his warped state of being, Trump toldNBC News:

Such a beautiful, abusive relationship he has with those hardworking Latinos. As one of the Latinos in the Complex office, I have five ways Trump can win our vote:

Give every Latino in America $1,000,000
Name a casino after Alex Rodriguez aka the GOAT Latino of All-Time
Make Rosie Perez his Vice President
Kiss Jennifer Lopez's ass on national television
Go on Fox News, smack Bill O'Reilly, and give Puerto Rico its independence from the tyrannical tentacles of the United States

I think he can make these things happen. You can do anything if you're a white billionaire conservative in America.

Update 7/8/15 (3:22 p.m.): Donald Trump is scheduled to visit Los Angeles Friday, and the Latinos he believes he's friendly with aren't acting according to his delusions. The Coalition for Humane Immigrant Rights of Los Angeles is beginning a social media campaign against Trump ahead of his arrival, LA Weeklyreports.