The Most Useless Gadgets Ever

Those seeking answers to life can turn to this digital decision maker. But what happens if you're still confused on the activity it spits back at you? Spare yourself the mental migraine and stick with the almighty Magic 8-Ball.

One can find many uses for a portable scale of the USB kind. Let's be honest though, unless you're in the business of pushing nickel and dime bags around the office, a digital scale mouse serves no true purpose.

Even on some baller status, the need for a $138,00 chandelier that displays messages across 1,050 LEDs and 2,100 crystals sounds absurd. Like you can't get the same gawdy effect from an iPhone screen.

Kids already have a hard enough time shooting straight, if you catch our drift. So how does a digital toilet with an attached iPad make for a more efficient toilet-training method?

A snow sled that requires frozen ice cube trays attached to the bottom for sliding traction? Uh, oK. Let's see how far you dash through the snow on this sucker.

Remind us why anyone would want a physical typewriter attached to their iPad for typing purposes? Especially when there are a variety of high-quality wireless keyboards available for Apple's tablet? C'mon son!

The thought of 34 ceramic and 29 silicon balls rubbing on your dome might seem like a good idea until you look at this thing. Ain't nobody got time to wear that on their head. I'm sure we can all agree that real hands would work best for such treatment.

There might not be an actual law out that prohibits working on your laptop and driving simultaneously. But you’d be a stupid mofo to attempt it, especially during traffic jams or long red lights. Stick to your Galaxy S4 if the desire to message arises.

A vibrating fork that informs people of when their gluttonous urges go AWOL sounds intriguing. We'll keep it 100 by stating the last thing anyone wants is a reverberating food utensil reminding them of how fast they're consuming food, especially after taking in a few drinks. The majority prefer getting their grub on and living with regret the following morning.

This sounds like some shit (literally) out of a Redman album skit. Sadly, any comic relief found from such a device doesn't salvage its priority as a must-own for restroom decor.

Through the use of ultra-high frequency sound waves, this little doohickey can supposedly cause people to experience headaches, sweating, nausea, and intense irritation. There is only one problem—you’re not immune to its effects. Kinda defeats the purpose, doesn’t it?

This odd-looking gadget, which looks like something from the discount section of a 25-cent XXX theater, stores a cartridge containing 128 basic odors that supposedly dispenses a scent of what’s sitting on your computer screen. So if your girl sends a raunchy photo on Snapchat, will it pick up her scent? Unlikely.

Air-conditioned shoes just sound like an experiment gone wrong. Hydro-Tech’s Cool Breeze footwear uses advanced filter technology to keep your feet dry and fresh of bad odors. We feel the same effect can be accomplished by rocking a pair of Havaianas.

A fully QWERTY keyboard device that promotes a backward-typing experience might seem fitting for the unorthodox crowd. Pardon us for being accustomed to the conventional messaging ways of the BlackBerry and iPhone, but we can't rock with this.

A massage vest to encourage avid music listeners to feel the music sounds screams workout infomercial. Then again, if you need a hi-tech vest to get your groove, you’re obviously out of sync. Period.

There are three ways to grill potatoes, and this isn't one. So unless you're slaving at the Lays factory, pass on the Potato Grilling Rack come next summer cookout.

There's nothing remotely cool about having a USB-inspired tie. Let alone, one with a primary connector stored inside the Windsor knot.

For $230, one would expect the full-body tan treatment. Bronzing your feet at the beach comes at a much cheaper price. Gratis. Matter of fact, you can go all GTL for that value.

Interesting concept. Mediocre novelty. Nothing beats the real thing.

Can someone explain the purpose of pampering your own food? It does nothing to add extra spice to a dinner or lower calories. Grab a Hungry Man meal and call it a day.

Unless the game plan calls for hitting up an '80s porn convention, keep these staches' away from your grill.

As if it took much effort to launch a paper plane, now you have a device that does it hands-free and doesn’t support proper aiming mechanics. #LazyBoyShit

A button with a earphone clip is just as lame as glow-in-the-dark pocket protectors.

If arts and crafts was never your shtick during adolescence, relying on these to cut a straight line through a sheet of paper only brings down your swag factor. And may God be on your side if you can't direct certain body parts towards a specific area at this point.

Talk about the useless of most useless devices ever conceiveed. ThinkGeek's offering is basically an electronic kit that supports only one function—turning on or off. That’s it. And just think, you can bask in such technological greatness for the asking price of $40.