Sorry Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but it may be time to say good-bye to that ooey gooey, delicious cheese pizza. In an announcement that seems quite absurd on many levels, PETA is calling upon Nickelodeon to change the turtles' signature diet for something more... dairy-free.

Lauren Thomasson—Project Coordinator, Animals In Film And Television And Celebrity Campaigns for PETA—sent the children's network a letter asking if the TMNT would opt for vegan pizza in the upcoming series, titled Rise Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. "But every fan worth his or her nunchucks knows that wherever the show leads the Turtles, they’ll be fueling up with pizza," the letter reads. "It’s practically their raison d’être, right? That’s another reason why I’m getting in touch: to ask that their pies and slices be vegan, because compassionate eating is the direction that TMNT fans, their siblings, and their parents are taking."

PETA then goes on to break down statistics about how Generation Z is becoming more vegan-friendly and gives a rundown of New York City-based pizza places that have begun to serve dairy-free pies. "Putting vegan pizza on the Fab Four’s plates is sure to inspire fans to try it themselves, and that would be great news for cows," the letter states. “The dairy industry isn’t kind to these gentle, intelligent beings — they often spend their lives standing on concrete floors, separated from their babies and tethered to machines until their milk production wanes. Their misery ends at the slaughterhouse.”

But after so many years in the game, I highly doubt Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo, and Raphael plan to switch up their diet any time soon. Let's see if PETA's plans come to fruition when Rise Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, a reboot of the classic television series, premieres on Nickelodeon in September 2018.

Here's the PETA letter in full:

January 31, 2018

Cyma Zarghami
President
Nickelodeon

Dear Ms. Zarghami,

I’m writing on behalf of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) and our more than 6.5 million members and supporters worldwide—a bunch of them dyed-in-the-half-shell fans of Mikey, Leo, Raph, and Donnie—to say, “Bodacious!”

That was the reaction around here when word got out about Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. What really got PETA buzzing, though, was the “different direction” that you spelled out for the new series. More laughs? Mystic ninja powers? Gnarly!

But every fan worth his or her nunchucks knows that wherever the show leads the Turtles, they’ll be fueling up with pizza. It’s practically their raison d’être, right? That’s another reason why I’m getting in touch: to ask that their pies and slices be vegan, because compassionate eating is the direction that TMNT fans, their siblings, and their parents are taking.

Check this out: Generation Z already scarfs down 57 percent more tofu and chugs 550 percent more nondairy milk than millennials do. Meanwhile, 70 percent of U.S. college campuses offer daily vegan options—that’s an awesome 42 percent jump from just four years ago—and one in five even have an all-vegan dining station. Twenty-six percent of all consumers say that they’ve cut back on eating meat in the last 12 months, and 58 percent of adults drink nondairy milk.

What’s that mean for reptilian—and human—pizza connoisseurs? More than 40 restaurant chains across the country, including Two Boots, &pizza, and Pizza Studio in the Turtles’ New York City stomping grounds, have taken note and added vegan cheese to their menus, and many of them now offer cruelty-free toppings like mock meats, seasoned tempeh, and tofu.

Putting vegan pizza on the Fab Four’s plates is sure to inspire fans to try it themselves, and that would be great news for cows. The dairy industry isn’t kind to these gentle, intelligent beings—they often spend their lives standing on concrete floors, separated from their babies and tethered to machines until their milk production wanes. Their misery ends at the slaughterhouse.

I’ve got to believe that the Turtles would be willing to help save other animals’ lives.

Thanks for your time and for considering this important issue. I’m looking forward to discussing it with you.

Sincerely,

Lauren Thomasson
PETA