Being POTUS is apparently a breezy gig, leaving ample free time for arguably more patriotic work such as passive-aggressively quoting old tweets and whining about a comedian during an interview just because he doesn't kiss your ass and/or tousle your hair. For Stephen Colbert, noted caller-outer of Trumpshit, having the former Apprentice host attempt to trash him in a recent interview (with a ratings diss that isn't even true, mind you) is indeed a victory.

"The president also spoke to Time magazine about the most important issue to him, this show," Colbert told his Late Show audience Thursday night. After reading the relevant quotes from the interview using his best Trump impression, Colbert continued: "The president of the United States has personally come after me and my show, and there's only one thing to say—yay."


Following a chant of "Stephen! Stephen!" from the audience, Colbert generously explained to Trump how show business works. "Mr. Trump, there's a lot you don't understand, but I never thought one of those things would be show business," he said. "Don't you know I've been trying for a year to get you to say my name? And you were very restrained, admirably restrained, but now you did it. I won." 

Colbert also responded to Trump calling his show "filthy," clarifying that he uses adult language "in public, instead of in the privacy of an Access Hollywood bus." Addressing Trump's claim that his interview on the Late Show gave Colbert his highest ratings ever, a claim which CNN points out is simply not true, Colbert consoled the fragile reality TV personality. "Don't worry," he said. "You won the 'ratings college.'"

If Trump really wanted to do damage to the Late Show, Colbert added, there's one surefire way: "Resign," he said.