Perhaps you've heard a thing or two about certain politicians' apparent obsession with bathrooms, with many—including noted idiots in North Carolina and Alabama—passing anti-transgender laws and ordinances aimed directly at securing the right to discriminate. Why is there such fuel behind this fear-based, hate-promoting movement toward the exact opposite of a free and fair society? Stephen Colbert, resident truth delivery service on The Late Show, decided to tackle that perplexing issue directly on Tuesday's show.

"I'm going to start off tonight with a personal question, if you don't mind," Colbert asked his audience. "A little show of hands, how many of you go to the bathroom?" Given the unanimous audience vote, Colbert continued: "I only ask because, if you've been following the news you know there are a lot of laws out there, like one down in North Carolina, which are regulating which bathrooms transgender people are allowed to use."

Colbert, before delivering one of his greatest comebacks ever, first broke down why exactly going to the bathroom is pretty much always an inconsequentially brief experience. "I don't care if you're male or female, what sex or gender identity someone is, I—and I mean this sincerely—do not want to share a bathroom with anyone," Colbert said. The reason for the general unpleasantness of Colbert's bathroom experiences? Everyone's ill-timed attempts at small talk. Also, Colbert notes, there are two other very crucial reasons: No. 1 and No. 2, respectively.

All jokes aside, Colbert then took aim at the politicians self-tasked with continually delivering a message of hate: "To all those lawmakers out there who are so obsessed with who's using what bathroom and what plumbing they've got downtown, news flash: you're the weirdos." The latest area to take the plunge into full-on transphobia? According to ABC News, that embarrassment goes to a town no one previously gave a shit about: Oxford, Alabama. In fact, violators of the town's new bathroom ordinance (making it illegal to use bathrooms differing from one's birth certificate gender) can be fined as much as $500 or get thrown in jail for six months.