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Three failed debate performances into his campaign, Chris Christie has finally come into his own. All he needed to blossom was to share a small stage with three very uncharismatic men in a softer spotlight than the one reserved for candidates polling above a margin of error.
On Tuesday night, with all the subtlety of Virginia Woolf, Christie managed to shoehorn an attack against Hillary Clinton into literally every answer he gave. (Well, except for when he explained his tax plan, but it’s hard to fit insults into a buncha numbers.) But as much as Chris Christie wants you to know he can beat Hillary, he wants you to know he can beat China even more:
Let me start with this, remember why we’re in the position we’re in with China, because of an absolutely weak and feckless foreign policy that was engineered by Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. That’s why we’re in the position we’re in [APPLAUSE]. Because the Chinese don’t take us seriously, and why should they? They hacked into the American government’s personnel file and took millions of records in cyber warfare against this country. I’m one of the victims of that hack. They took my social security number, my fingerprints as a former United States attorney that was on file in there. And what has this president done? Not one thing. Let me be really clear about what I would do. If the Chinese commit cyber warfare against us, they are gonna see cyber warfare like they have never seen before. And that is a closed society in China, where they’re hiding information from their own people. The information we take, we’ll make sure all the Chinese people see it. They’ll have some real fun in Beijing when we start showing them how they’re spending their money in China.
Now, that’s the Chris Christie we’ve all been waiting for this primary, not that wallflower from the last three debates who hugged Obama that one time, remember? But if you think overtly threatening the Chinese government during a presidential primary debate is the blustery gasp of a campaign desperate to get back on the main stage, well, just wait until Christie finishes his thought:
One last thing, I’ll tell you this. They’re building those artificial islands in the South China Sea, and the president up until recently wouldn’t sail a ship within 12 miles or fly a plane over it. I’ll tell you this, the first thing I’ll do with the Chinese, I’ll fly Air Force One over those islands. They’ll know we mean business.
The bumper sticker writes itself. Chris Christie 2016: I’ll Razz China From The Sky If You Vote For Me.