First, Josh Duggar. Now, a high-ranking Republican official. Where will the 35,000 people in Mobile at Donald Trump's weird pep rally turn to now? After the Impact Team's threatened exposure of Ashley Madison's 30 (+) million account holders' private information turned out not to be a bluff, more and more people are suddenly being thrust into the knowledge of their respective significant other's patterned infidelities.

This, of course, inspires tons of brilliantly stupid responses to suddenly-made-public affairs from many of the nation's most trusted figures. Jason Doré, executive director of the Louisiana GOP, was revealed to have spent approximately $176 on Ashley Madison, prompting the truly and spectacularly awful explanation of "opposition research":

“As the state’s leading opposition research firm, our law office routinely searches public records, online databases and websites of all types to provide clients with comprehensive reports."

According to the Times-PicayuneDoré now considers his ingenious research project a "waste of money and time," which probably just means his Ashley Madison page wasn't really getting enough play.