I never thought I would be able to type the phrase "projectile vomit of dickishness" three times in one day, but that's merely the kind of thought one has when temporarily underestimating Donald Trump's dedication to the troll life. At this point, the only way Trump could truly shock the public would be spending just one day not engaging in the lowest-common-denominator-appealing antics with which he's become increasingly synonymous.

Trump's latest entry in the great novel of trollisms involves Senator Lindsey Graham, a Republican from South Carolina with a penchant for openly declaring Trump a "jackass." After calling Graham an "idiot" during his campaign speech in the senator's home state, Trump displayed a card upon which he had written Graham's personal number. "Give it a shot," Trump told the audience, at which point (hopefully) thousands of people swarmed Graham's phone with findings from the darkest corners of Weird Internet.

Thankfully, Trump's general awfulness has one positive side effect — the resulting fodder has wildly reinvigorated Jon Stewart during his final days as host of The Daily Show. However, the prevailing sentiment remains — how is any of this real?