Ted Cruz, the guy who once used a couple of poorly placed prepositions to define gun control as "when you hit at what you aim at," is reportedly making some sort of official announcement on Monday regarding his desire to rule the free world. Despite looking like the used car salesman who once told you "let me speak to my manager" before throwing in some free air fresheners with your 1998 Altima, Cruz's chances among the kind of people who are into his whole shtick actually don't seem downright abysmal.

Admittedly, a lot of people treat things like running for president with the same sort of reverence as a NASCAR race. After all, there is a distinctly hokey aura to the current political atmosphere that doesn't exactly invite us to be excited. According to The Chronicle, Cruz hopes to raise between $40 and $50 million, presumably from donors who watch "Matlock" and repeatedly invite you to play FarmVille on Facebook.